life safari

Oh Boy ! AAAAAHHHHHH. I have finally begun breathing again today.

I am excited and happy about the future. I am very happy that I did get involved in the election. I was not interested really in any of the four people running and was not going to vote.

But, when Colin Powell endorsed Obama, I said, O.K., that's my candidate. I happen to have much respect for Powell. I would have voted for him had he run.

It looks to me as though the nation is in giddy happiness and daring to dream of peace, equality and brotherhood.

I am happy, joyous and free today !

Praise God and Thank YOU

life safari-Tuesday

Happy Tuesday !

I am Grateful and Thankful to be:

alive and well

to have a faith and trust in the Lord

to live with a very special cat

able to see and listen to the birds that come to feed and play

sober, clean and smoke-free another day

for the elections to soon be over

to have a movie to watch tonight - I have had enough of the election

in a country where I may worship as I choose

Thank YOU

life safari 11-3-08

Wow, this day is a perfect weather happening in H-Town today. And, with the time change back to standard time (of which my body clock runs best on), I am filled with gratitude and happiness !

Well, yesterday at the outdoor Rosary service (at the cemetery), my worst fears came true - I blubbered off and on through the entire service. Oh well, I stuck it out, didn't leave and in the end met some very nice folks and had lovely chats before the service. Priests went to all of our grave sites and blessed the graves - (and the people, of course). Since there were far more people that came than expected, the Priests had their hands full. I bet there were 100-150 people at the service. Standing room only. But a day like today - very pretty with a nice breeze on occasion.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...

that I decided to participate in the All Souls service yesterday
to be able to cry when I feel sad or overwhelmingly joyful
what a gift to my spirit to not feel I want to hide my emotions today
for the "community" yesterday at the service
also for the sense of aloneness with my feelings of loss that I feel for my departed loved ones
I miss them all terribly. I believe we never say goodbye for the 'last' time but, I do miss them here and now. And yes, I tend to cry about that
and that is just o.k. today
God's Grace Precious
the visitation by the doves and blue jay on the atrium this morning. The jay acually nabbed a baby lizard for his nest
one less for Precious to hunt but,
All Is Well With Our Souls This Day
thank YOU

All Soul's Day 2008

Happy Sunday, beautiful weather here in Houston this morning.

Last year at this time, I had, for the first time participated in "the Day of the Dead" at church.
I posted a poster of my deceased loved ones in one of our chapels and it was a most freeing and satisfying experience. Also, their names were listed in a book for prayers by members of the church who devote time exclusively to that end. Last year the chapel was filled with photos. This year, sadly, very few are participating. I wonder why. However, I didn't either. Perhaps once is enough.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I had a wonderful lunch with my friend Sonny yesterday
I signed up to celebrate my AA birthday at Lambda on Nov. 22nd
had a wonderful experience before Mass yesterday, one that I had not expected
I am so glad, however, for the experience (above)
I cried, as usual, a few times during Mass
you know, I don't even get ashamed or feel "funny" over it any longer. I am very sensitive and have always been. Yes, I tried all my life to hide that fact from other's - no longer
I actually like being as sensitive as I am today
was able to extend myself to someone whom I do not know but is living in "survival" mode
for the love of God - He gave me Precious (and much more)
I get to honor the memory and death of my parents today
that along with my parents, I will be honoring and thinking of the rest of my deceased family and friends
Thank YOU

life safari 10-31-08

Well, it's Friday. This is my least favorite "hollowday" so,excuse my not in the mood of it.

I tried twice to post yesterday but just couldn't get in the mood. All this election business and smear -type talk has just saturated me lately. I, too look forward to it all being over. We've lived this stuff for almost the entire year ! Good gosh, I dread the next election -over-kill.

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I can take my mind off of the political scene with All Saint's Day and All Soul's Day this weekend

Precious is out in the atrium enjoying this wonderful weather day

although I am years from losing several people I love, I am missing them very much right now

It seems that I get melancoly around this time each year. I begin thinking of those whom are no longer with me. Those whom gathered to eat together at the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner tables.

This is one reason I had such a difficult time posting yesterday - putting these feelings into words is difficult

it is my intention to go to a Rosary service Sunday for All Soul's Day, honoring my deceased parents

I will be eternally grateful if I can get through the service without blubbering through it all

I have my doubts

I am going to try-I can always leave if I am unable to make it

Thank YOU

God's Grace

Photo above - my parents in better times

life safari 10-29-08

I wish I had not opened an E-mail from a friend.

I had a morbid curiosty regarding the smear campaign inclosed in the E-mail - I regret reading it.

Not only am I sick of friends who claim to be so very pious and "good", I am disappointed that they are so ignorant and shallow. It is these very people that fuel the desires of the "skin-head" killers among us.

I am sad today that these so-called "friends" of mine continue to send this Hate-Monger mail after I asked them to pass me by on all political subjects PERIOD.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...

to be working toward a more peacable and loving kathy
to be genuinely saddened by the kind of lies and half-truths - smears and defaming things that people use in the name of being "Republican."
that yes, I am standing up. I DO want CHANGE and, a lot of it !
that although something I wrote yesterday was misunderstood, I know what I meant and I was not complaining
And, I am not complaining now, now I am stating my disappointment and shock
Precious
God's Grace
Thank YOU

and, no more of this HATE-MONGER mail - you know who you are

life safari 10-28-08

Wow, already it's Tuesday ! Was a bit "nippy" this morning. But, it sure beats the heat of this summer - especially when I had no power after Ike.

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

a new contact on my Blog. Welcome and thank you for writing Peek-A-Boo Street !
I have much to to research and will not get all the articles printed this morning. I am reading up on WWI and the resultant condition of the Middle East (BBC has a very unbiased outlook)
I read some of the articles at work yesterday - it opened my eyes to much
the desire to be more open minded/open hearted regarding peoples who are different than I
for the life I have with Precious in it-I love to watch her in cold weather. She fluffs up like a bird and lays on her little hands(paws)
I will trade any trips for a longer life with my Precious girl
the fact that all the "Hate-Mongers" out there do not faze me-I love my "delete" button !
I pray for peace. Just a day of World Peace. And, if we can do it for a day, it can be done longer
I work on "dropping the rock" every day. Some situations I fail at it but, I now re-group and remember the bigger picture
God's Grace and Salvation
thank YOU

life safari 10-27-08

Monday. What a beautiful weather day in H-town.

I am heartened by a response from a friend regarding my blog yesterday. Thank you, dAAve.
Have no fear that I am staying sober and clean. The last months of my drinking almost killed me. And what I am really in touch with is that, I might have killed someone else.

I am completely understanding on the point that our celebrating at birthday nights can inspire other's. But, I have truly run out of things to say up there. The past two years - especially last year - I thanked AA and God for my sobriety and the life I have today. No more than that can I really say. AA led me (after many, many years) to a Spiritual awareness. Then, after some years, I needed something more than Spirituality. That need was for a religion. I set out to add to a rudimentary beginning in the Catholic faith. Now, a few years later, I worship and lead a life as a Catholic. My journey in becoming a Catholic Christian is not what anyone wants to hear at an AA birthday night celebration. And, that is my story today. So, my inspiration has a pretty limited audience, I suspect.
I don't believe I need to appear so people can see me-as if to prove that I am still sober and clean. Some people will believe whatever they want and make up whatever they want to believe with or without any facts. What has that got to do with me?

I am Grateful and Thankful...

for this Fall day. What a beauty !!
for friends and family
for Precious who knows me and loves me anyway
for Frank who knows me and loves me anyway
for dAAve and his up-lifting words and support
God's Grace
my life today after a period of dryness and strife
to KNOW that God performed a miracle in my life the other day
and, to know that that was absolutely NOT the first or only Miracle
thank YOU

life safari 10-26-08

Well, Sunday evening and the close of another weekend. Once again, it has passed too soon.

This Friday will be the end of October. Where has this year gone? I will celebrate 11 years sober and clean November 17th. I am happy about the fact that I am still sober and clean and now too, smoke -free.

I do not think I will be celebrating at Lambda Center this go round. I am not attending meetings there much - actually, hardly at all. My AA friends most likely will feel that I am making a wrong decision on this. I can not help what they will think. I do not want to lose the few friends and family I have from AA either. They mean very much to me. I do, however find that when I go to Lambda, I feel discontent and wonder why I went. I go to see the few folks that I love. That is where they hang out. It is just not my hang out any more. I find more solace and peace in church and have for some time now.

The above is difficult. I have needed to say it for some time, however. I guess there is never a good time to risk losing friendships after several years. My hope and wish is that I will not, of course. The path I have been on for nearly a year is one I have wanted to be on for many years but was too afraid I would not want it after I got into it.

With all that aside, I have been honest and have told my truth. I only trust that my friends will accept my truth and support me and love me. Even if it is not the path they want me to follow.

I only ask: love me where I am and for whom I am. And stay in touch as we do through our blogs.

Friday evening had a beautiful experience at the Villa de Matel Chapel. It was a Taize' Prayer Service and the chapel was absolutely stunningly beautiful ! The grounds, the Mother House, they have a Villa Grotto, it is very serene there.

I will include a photo or two at the end if they will transfer.

I have been over-whelmed with emotion of late. I will be going to a Rosary for All Souls Day at the cemetary where my parents are both buried and I am already crying when I think about it.

These devotional experiences are exactly the reason I am so happy to be a Catholic. It is a beautiful religion (to me) and I can not keep a from tearing up even at regular Mass. The words to songs, the words we say in our Mass, the thought of why we are there and what we are celebrating - just an over-whelming of emotions to me.

Not that I mind. I feel deeply any more. I am not ashamed for tears to stream down my face any more. There was a time I did mind. I was a "closet cryer."

Well, I guess I have rattled on enough. I just needed to get some things out in the open.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

for God's Grace

for Precious

for friends and family

to be sober, clean and smoke-free

for the experiences of new things

for the courage to speak out and risk being hurt or rejected

for voting my conscience

for the All Souls Celebration and walking through my fears to attend and participate

Christ has died. Christ has risen. Christ will come again

thank YOU

life safari 10-22-08

Well, I am setting out to go vote early after my shower.

Something made me decide that this election has someone that I can vote in favor for - a change from before.

It's an absolutely beautiful Fall day here and more cooler weather is predicted - a bit of rain too.

M/S meeting went on until after 9:00 pm last night. It was supposed to end at 8:00 pm.

I handled the above situation better than I have in the past, which is a good thing if one wants to stay employed.

I am learning to take life easier. When I get all bent out of shape, it seems to only hurt me - no one else gives a hoot. Most people are out in the ozone, thinking about numero uno which, of course, so am I. So, I'm no different than every one else and, therefor, I should not be so hard on every one else. We really ARE in this together...

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...
finally feel like voting for a "cause"
to be alive and well
to live in a country where I don't risk being killed for my Christian beliefs
that Precious is a part of my life
I have a beautiful double yellow hybiscus bloom on a plant that has not produced in over a year
for this great Houston weather
to be back on a shift where I have my mornings free
I enjoy reading my friend's Blogs
God's Grace
thank YOU

life safari 10-21-08

Happy Tuesday morning. It is another beautiful day in H-Town.
I got paid yesterday, the last of all those crazy long hours I worked for a few weeks. Glad I'm back to my old shift hours again.
Sunday, I was invited and attended the Houston Grand Opera. Saw two one-act operas and enjoyed them both. The second opera I like better but only because it was set in the 1940's.

Also, this Friday I am leaving work early to attend a Taize prayer service at the Villa de Matel Chapel. I really look forward to this. Frank tells me that the chapel is beautiful. I have seen the grounds of the Villa. I know it is very peaceful and pretty.
The Villa de Matel is the Sisters of Charity of the incarnate Word retirement home. It has a Grotto on the premises that I long to go sit in one of these days. Perhaps on another outing at the grounds.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...

for this Precious gift pictured above that brings me joy and happiness
that the weather is so special right now
to have a job that lets me be sort of "out in the gorgeous day"
for God's Grace
Thank YOU

life safari 10-20-08

What a beautiful Monday. And, it's payday for me.

I had a nice, restful weekend. Accompanied Frank to 2 short (1 act each) operas yesterday. I enjoyed both but especially the second.

Attended the beautiful Memorial for Melody also. What a beautiful person she is and her effect on other's was unmistakable.

This lovely Fall weather and temperature soothes me and brings out the better of my Nature.

I am Grateful for/that...

my health
my life as I know it today. I have had a much different life in the past. One of travel, horses and that whole life-style. Too much activity crammed into one 24 hour period in the past. Yes, I miss a great deal of that past today but, some of the things that surrounded and permeated in that life were hard lessons for me. Lessons that, fortunately, in time have lost their sting.
Precious and her little, loving, Being
God's Grace and Salvation
Thank YOU

life safari 10-18-08

Well, good morning and Happy Saturday !!
It is a banner day here in Houston. Cool, clear weather. Just right for being alive.

I am showing off my Precious little one. I took these photos of her soon after I brought her home some years past. Now, when I get out the camera, she gives me a "MO THERRRRR !" back-glance as she flees for the spot under the bed.

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I have a job that I get the weekends off - what a Blessing. I worked many weekends in Retail
to get up early (thanks to my Little Darl'n here) and enjoy the coldness of Fall weather for a good change
I was able to stall Precious for 3 hours this morning. She, well, her stomach is still on my early shift schedule. She started working on waking me to feed her at 4:00 this morning. I was able to sleep until 7:00.
for God's gift of Precious in my life
for meeting Frank later for dinner - Blackened Chicken with Linguine and Chipotle/Alfredo sauce - YUMMY
that I have kept to my prayers and devotions all week - it makes a big difference in my attitude and behavior
God's Grace
thank YOU

life safari 10-17-08

Wow, one more month and I will have 11 (eleven) years sober and clean ! Awesome. One of my favorite photos of Precious, my beloved cat, is what I call "Precious, praying HER Rosary."

I am such a Blessed woman, I can not express the joy and pleasure this little cat has brought to my life in the years we have been together. Thank YOU Lord for allowing me to be at the SPCA at that particular day and moment in time.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

this beautiful cooler weather
to be up and welcome the sun rise this morning
for Precious and her "little cat ways"
to be alive and well
that today is Friday
to have a busy weekend planned. Much socialization-some somber, some joyous
that Precious got us up and awake very early. Now, I will have time for everything today
for a good book to read. It got so scary last night that I had to stop reading it. I didn't want bad dreams
for old friends. For new friends
to be going to my favorite restaurant tomorrow -Spaghetti Western ! (with Frank-one of my favorite people)
for God's Grace
thank YOU

life safari 10-15-08

Good morning ! I can not tell you how good it is to get back to my "regular" work schedule. Many changes have happened because of the drop in hours. I have time for prayer and devotions which give me a sense of well-being and peace. I sleep better, deeper and wake more rested. The ills that I had sought a Doctor's visit for have ceased.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

for the zeal for God returning
a new friend to correspond with through E-mails (Akannie), WELCOME
that it is the middle of the week - Praise God
for this very full picture included here. It tells of Jesus' life
friends and family that fulfill my life and heart
for a bit of rain and thunder this morning
that the sun is shining now
for the very full moon lately. How gorgeous. And man thinks THEY made all of this?
for God's Grace and LOVE
Thank YOU

life safari 10-14-08

Oh boy, I was so busy at work today. I collected $ 164.00 in 5 hours ! Tomorrow is looking like more of the same, perhaps more.

I have a message that I am to have an "outage" in 8 minutes.

Good thing I didn't have anything else to say other than,

Thank YOU Lord for all your awesome Grace and Love !

life safari 10-13-08

Good Morning ! Another Federal Holiday.



It is a beautiful day. I start my new work schedule today and I am more excited than words will express. I am back to my 2:00 pm - 7:00 pm shift. Yes, I will be required to stay with the MS people until 9-9:30 pm on occasion but, that is more preferable than these 8 hours I've been pulling.



I was saddened to hear of an AA acquaintances death. Melody J. I have been told she did not linger or suffer and Praise God for that Blessing ! I will attend her Wake next Sunday.



Akannie has been staying in touch and I just want to acknowledge your presence and your thoughts and prayers as I was going through my suffering Thursday and Friday. Thank you so much, I appreciated reading your comments. God Bless You !



I have not heard from Ungodly Sobriety lately. I hope you are well. Drop me a line when able. I'm thinking about you.



I am going to the 12:15 AA meeting today at Lambda. I have not attended a meeting in a very long time. I look forward to seeing everyone and the empty chair that Melody J used to inhabit will be a reminder of her passing.



I am Grateful and Thankful...



for a wonderful Saturday with friends and loved ones

to get out of Houston and up to the hills Saturday

for getting to Mass Sunday and rest the after that

for a new work schedule where I don't have to set my alarm for 4:30 am any longer

that I don't have to set an alarm at all-even better !

for Precious. My loving and wonderful side-kick. What a gift from God she is

for a good night's sleep

that I don't have to get all crazy about the Presidential elections as some do

for the Love, Grace and Salvation of the Lord

Thank YOU

life safari 10-10-08

Good morning. Happy Saturday.

Well, by the Grace of God, I am still employed and all is well. I can only tell you that God works in mysterious ways. End of story today.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

The Grace of God
Precious
friends
family
Thank YOU

life safari 10-10-08

Today is finally Friday. I have anxiously waited for the week to pass. Now, here it is and it is a day I wish to skip.

I must show up at work today, knowing I will most likely be fired. This is that point, that one last chance and, even I would fire me over this one !

The part of this that I loathe is that, now I must wait - it could be today, Monday, what day?
Nothing anyone can do to me can be as bad as what my head is doing to me since my infraction.

The end to this will be the relief. Yet, I must go in, face my sin-confess it and live with the consequences. A stupid, off - the - cuff "joke" I made to a customer that was, not only a touch off-color in it's meaning but to someone that I do not have that type kidding relationship with in the first place.

What was I thinking? Obviously, I was not. To make matters worse, in her talking to me, she almost got hit by a gate coming down. I am Toast, cooked, fired !

There is no justifying this breach. I can only give this in my defense: I'm very tired physically and mentally right now. There was a lot of chaos as I was trying to leave the booth yesterday and, I grab at humor to relieve my stress sometimes. Unfortunately, in this case, there was a disconnect in appropriateness. I feel terrible about this situation. All of it.

Had the customer not been exchanging words with me, she would not have been in harm's way of the gate.

I only wish I had made my exit two minutes earlier. That is all it took for me to ruin almost 3 good years of service in my job. Now I get to live in self-flagellation until the hour of dismissal.

What I must face with this knowledge and the waiting for the hour, is far more punishment than anyone else can heap on me.

This trip into the job is the bravest step I have taken in a long time. I also am not trying to justify my "insanity of the moment."

I must understand the why's of this matter so as not to repeat this kind of tragedy.

I do think that I have been working a shift that was far too long and lasted longer than I was able to hold up in.

Eight hours in that booth with the happenings that go on daily - I think may have been over-reaching for my ability.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

to be sober and clean
that no matter what, I can tell the truth today
Precious
God's Grace
thankYOU

life safari 10-8-08

Wednesday ! I am excited that we are in the middle of this week and moving toward the end.

It is quite cool out this morning, almost chilly, in fact.

Hearing about the antics of the CEO of AIG and their luxurious expenditures after our "tax-payer" retirement funds went to bail them out has left a real bad taste in my mouth.

This kind of lack of respect and regard for the "little people" is what turns me off. These banks that are buying up other banks that have succumbed to failure -they'll be looking for a bailout too. How does buying someone else's bad debts keep one solvent? Greed and more greed is what it says to me.

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I am not having to borrow any money at this time

my weekend is going to be laid back but getting things done that I have been putting off

the weather is getting cooler

I got a good physical health report yesterday. Now I just need to get a better mental health going for myself

the encouragement that I CAN start taking life's problems less to heart

through a little book written by a Priest, I can relate that part of my problems stem from the "it's all about ME" syndrome

the mind can make one sick. My mind can make me sick (physically)

no more of that business. Starting today, I take things with a grain of salt, nothing is worth getting so upset that I have a heart attack over and, I breathe more often. That's right, breathe

my mind doesn't seem to understand that word B R E A T H E - a new concept

Precious - as Akannie commented, I am fortunate to have Precious in my life. Yes, Akannie, I am indeed. What a joy she is !

God's Grace. God's Patience. God's Forgiveness. God's Mercy.

thank YOU