life safari 8/15/08

Something I read on a friend's blog just now took me back in time. He commented about feeling weird. I just assume it is because his mother just passed away. I could be wrong but, I recalled how weird I felt after my own mother passed away. It just felt so, well, weird to know that my mother was not a part of life (living, at least) any longer. I would never be able to reach out and touch her again, see her, listen to her voice, hear her laugh. She was just not on earth any longer and that was a dumb-founding thing for me to try and wrap my mind around. I was now a "mother-less child." Weird. Sad. Lonely. Lonely for her. My mother passed away 34 years ago and it is an anniversary I will never forget - May 23, 1974. Every funeral I have been to since hers is a re-visiting of that fateful day we buried her and the trauma surrounding the day.

I believe a part of me went with my mother. I loved her then. I love her now. I missed her then, I miss her now. Right now.

On another note, my Precious cat bit me on my arm tonight. I feel totally ambushed, betrayed and positively stumped as to why she did that. I bleed easily anyway but, she bit down with all her canines and it was not a little nip. Apparently I was not petting her to her satisfaction and she bit me over it. I am very disappointed and shocked. I would like to say that I did not react over it but I reacted like a mad woman (which, I was !).

The only thing I can say about this is that, she has bitten me once. It will not happen again without dire consequences. My animals are absolutely not allowed to bite me. My little cocker bit me once and I can tell you, when I got through with her, she never did it again. I hope that Precious got the message. I am so upset over this event. Now I wonder if I can trust her ever again?

Well, one thing is for sure, while writing all of this I began to cry a bit. I think I have needed a good cry. I just wish it wasn't over my Precious little cat biting me on my arm...some things just shouldn't be.

I feel double weird.

life safari 8/13/08

Dear Dave,

what a huge loss - know that I feel your pain. I just became aware of your mother's passing. She is with other's whom we have had to bid farewell to. She is out of pain and nearer to God now. Her soul is resting in peace.

I have fond memories of the night of your first AA birthday. I was fortunate to sit with her and talk and laugh with her. She loved you so much and was so very proud of your sobriety.

We are strong people and our parents knew we would do the hard things that were in their best interests.

I have come to realize that the harder things are asked of the strongest ones. Also, the ones who love us most depend on our ability to stay the course.

You have one more Guardian Angel. The one who knows and loves you the most.

You and Pat are in my prayers, Dave. I'm sorry I did not know of the Memorial service sooner. I will pay my respects here at the house and keep you both in my prayers. Especially at Mass this Sunday.

God Bless you, kathy