life safari 10-10-08

Good morning. Happy Saturday.

Well, by the Grace of God, I am still employed and all is well. I can only tell you that God works in mysterious ways. End of story today.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

The Grace of God
Precious
friends
family
Thank YOU

life safari 10-10-08

Today is finally Friday. I have anxiously waited for the week to pass. Now, here it is and it is a day I wish to skip.

I must show up at work today, knowing I will most likely be fired. This is that point, that one last chance and, even I would fire me over this one !

The part of this that I loathe is that, now I must wait - it could be today, Monday, what day?
Nothing anyone can do to me can be as bad as what my head is doing to me since my infraction.

The end to this will be the relief. Yet, I must go in, face my sin-confess it and live with the consequences. A stupid, off - the - cuff "joke" I made to a customer that was, not only a touch off-color in it's meaning but to someone that I do not have that type kidding relationship with in the first place.

What was I thinking? Obviously, I was not. To make matters worse, in her talking to me, she almost got hit by a gate coming down. I am Toast, cooked, fired !

There is no justifying this breach. I can only give this in my defense: I'm very tired physically and mentally right now. There was a lot of chaos as I was trying to leave the booth yesterday and, I grab at humor to relieve my stress sometimes. Unfortunately, in this case, there was a disconnect in appropriateness. I feel terrible about this situation. All of it.

Had the customer not been exchanging words with me, she would not have been in harm's way of the gate.

I only wish I had made my exit two minutes earlier. That is all it took for me to ruin almost 3 good years of service in my job. Now I get to live in self-flagellation until the hour of dismissal.

What I must face with this knowledge and the waiting for the hour, is far more punishment than anyone else can heap on me.

This trip into the job is the bravest step I have taken in a long time. I also am not trying to justify my "insanity of the moment."

I must understand the why's of this matter so as not to repeat this kind of tragedy.

I do think that I have been working a shift that was far too long and lasted longer than I was able to hold up in.

Eight hours in that booth with the happenings that go on daily - I think may have been over-reaching for my ability.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

to be sober and clean
that no matter what, I can tell the truth today
Precious
God's Grace
thankYOU

life safari 10-8-08

Wednesday ! I am excited that we are in the middle of this week and moving toward the end.

It is quite cool out this morning, almost chilly, in fact.

Hearing about the antics of the CEO of AIG and their luxurious expenditures after our "tax-payer" retirement funds went to bail them out has left a real bad taste in my mouth.

This kind of lack of respect and regard for the "little people" is what turns me off. These banks that are buying up other banks that have succumbed to failure -they'll be looking for a bailout too. How does buying someone else's bad debts keep one solvent? Greed and more greed is what it says to me.

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I am not having to borrow any money at this time

my weekend is going to be laid back but getting things done that I have been putting off

the weather is getting cooler

I got a good physical health report yesterday. Now I just need to get a better mental health going for myself

the encouragement that I CAN start taking life's problems less to heart

through a little book written by a Priest, I can relate that part of my problems stem from the "it's all about ME" syndrome

the mind can make one sick. My mind can make me sick (physically)

no more of that business. Starting today, I take things with a grain of salt, nothing is worth getting so upset that I have a heart attack over and, I breathe more often. That's right, breathe

my mind doesn't seem to understand that word B R E A T H E - a new concept

Precious - as Akannie commented, I am fortunate to have Precious in my life. Yes, Akannie, I am indeed. What a joy she is !

God's Grace. God's Patience. God's Forgiveness. God's Mercy.

thank YOU

life safari 10/7/08

Tuesday. Well, I finally received that big check. And, I gotta tell ya, it was well worth the wait !
WOW.

Thank goodness I don't foresee having to put in those amount of hours again.

I don't want to get ready for work. But, I am going to have to.

I am Grateful and Thankful ....

rain is in our forecast for the day
I had a low-key evening of television watching
Precious lives with me
God's Grace

life safari 10-6-08

Monday, perhaps I'll get my check today.

Had a very relaxing weekend. I enjoyed having all the doors opened yesterday that have screens on them - it reminded me of that attic fan we had when I was a kid. It was so powerful and created a big draft in the house.

I wish it wasn't Monday already. I'm not ready to go back to work.

We have a big, barking dog next door now-a friend for the loud, rambunctious boys. How lucky I am...

I am Grateful and Thankful...

that rain is in the forecast. We can use some
for a very restful weekend
that, if all goes well, I will actually get that check today
for Precious and her quiet company and cuteness
that I have good Doctors and we have a history established
I put in for a couple of coupons for this "digitalization" t.v. happening
to have a job. To have a job so close to home. But, I wish I could take a long vacation. Or, just go back to bed for a few hours
to have gone to church yesterday. We have our choir AND incense back after their vacation
God's Grace
thank YOU