life safari 09-26-08

TGIF !!!!!!!

Today, I am grateful and thankful for...

getting the new weight bench set up last night (by the instructions)
(by the instructions) is a new process for me. I laid all parts out first, counted them and made sure all was there, then, went step by step with the guide - It Worked !
a forecast of much cooler weather this weekend. I will need it for the yard work I've got to do
Aleve and a heating pad. my back relies on both at times
Precious. what an awesome cat and a fun roommate
God's Grace
thank YOU

life safari 09-25-08

this picture reminds me of my "magnifying mind." My blog entry two days ago was the culmination of problems that have built up at work. My boss did not err in my paycheck although, he certainly understood why I thought he had. Our company is now holding out about one month's pay. Because we are paid on the 5th and 20th of the month, the divide grows with time. The check was correct - it was the last two weeks of August's pay.
I said a lot of things in anger the other day on my blog.
I have since made my amends to those that were due. Even one that was due me. Peace at any cost has begun to be a good idea to me.

In light of what is happening in the world, my problems seem very small and shallow. This is my "magnifying mind" that blows them up to huge deals. Part of it is selfishness. Part is "it's all about me."
It is a time when discretion and prudence is in order. Also, as my boss pointed out to me, stress causes many illnesses of the body.

I am making new strides to remain calm, look at things from more than one angle(how it affects me) and getting back to those Spiritual activities that help me stay calm and grateful.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

the cooler temperatures
cool days this weekend. I have alot of work to do in the yard
Precious - she is just the coolest cat !
relief from co-worker, Ambesajer, from 5 pm - 7pm. Because of his good attitude I don't have to work 11 hours lately
that Theresa's Galveston house was not destroyed
that a friend from the building across the street from my work shared her news that her ex-husband had shot himself
My heart goes out to you, Jenna and your sons. He is in a better place
God's Grace
thank YOU

life safari 09-22-08

I am so upset regarding my job, boss, *rude co-worker and situations surrounding work that I am absolutely almost out the door. I have worked 89.0 hours the past two weeks and I got paid for 57.5 on this check. Now, my boss has the timecards in his hand to turn into payroll. How does one miss that many hours? 29 of those shorted hours is overtime. When I start getting shorted money on a job, I start looking for other work - my last employer (Good Neighbor Cleaners) still owes me over $ 300.00. Of course, they went "belly-up" due to incompetency, (Debbie).

*Rude is not all this guy is. He's a constant complainer who does not want a solution for any of his complaints. In fact, I have tried to help him solve several of his problems and have gotten kicked in the teeth for my efforts (figuratively). No, as soon as someone steps up to the plate and helps, he starts backing away and keeps people at an arms length. So, just keep whining and suffering ye co-worker. You wore me out. Not to mention talking to me like a dog when you are unable to handle your work load (in your head). I say, a Shrink and some anti-depressants would do you a world of good.

I want to feel grateful but, I hate to say, I dread going to my work. Had my co-worker "gotten the message" about being polite, cordual and professional in his actions and words, it would not be such a drugery. But, since he is allowed to continue his BS, I will dread going to my job.

My goal is to make a radical change-however that looks. And, to find out how in the hell someone can short an employee that many hours in time when they have the hard copy of the timecard in their hand !?!?

No more excuses and no prisoners in Westchase.

life safari 09/21/08

Ike - a NASA photograph.

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I, my family and friends lived through this very large and destructive hurricane
Frank and his fellowship today
to have met a woman who is very unselfish with any and everything - Frank's neighbor, Mary
Mary is cooking, supplying ice and care for all in her area - no care for the cost to her. Most unselfish person I have met in a very long time. You ROCK, Mary !!!!
Precious and her wonderful, sweet self
Mass this morning. I have not attended for a few weeks
that I have availability to good medical treatment. I am going to need to seek some out this week
alarms that work and keep me from over-sleeping
although I dread going to work this week, I will go and do my best to make it the best experience that I can
God's Grace and Love
thank YOU

life safari 09-20-08

Early A.M. Saturday morning. Have been redoing my Blog Profile and photo.

This goes out to Ungodly Sobriety:

I want to thank you for your following, your interest. I went to your blog but was not able to set up a following for me on your blog. I am not very good at this. I know very little and what I have learned cost me many hair-raising and hair pulling nights.

I want to tell you that I am very proud for you to have over 6 months of sobriety. I assume you attend meetings at Lambda by some of the blog names that you listed.

I have not attended there in quite awhile. I will have 11 years sober and clean this November 17th. But, I have been in and out of AA for around 25 years.

I just wanted to make a contact with you and and I'll be tuning in to your Blog so hopefully we can talk some.

I am up late because I am very agitated right now. I have written more entries to my blog in the last two days than I have in months.

I am very tired and am going to breakfast with a friend later this morning. I have got to at least lay down and get some rest.

Well, I'm glad you are open to being sober for now and giving it a go. Hope to have an exchange of ideas and conversation with you later.

peanut

life safari 09-19-08

The saga of "the job" (mine) and the "bail out" (AIG, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, FDIC, others I can't even think of right now) has me just ready to pack up, sell the house, withdraw any and all investments and move. Pay Ceasar what is Ceasar's out of the investments for early withdrawal and flee ! I am not sure I will have anything left considering the Government is spending all our funds.

Most of these failing companies got themselves into trouble by their own GREED ! Now, the markets are tapped out and their left with worthless mortgages and other strapped investments that they can't get loans for (and rightly so), we're having to pick up the tab. Well, I can't afford it ! I'm tired of all these big companies who are in bed with the people that run for office and get all these consessions and favors, promises and a blind eye turned - let the government US, hello !!) pick up the tab. I say, you play you pay. Why did they let Lehman Bros. go bankrupt. They didn't like them?

Who decides who gets the ride and who goes under? All these huge companies have 24-30 Boards of Directors who somehow come out of these failed companies rich.

I am ashamed, upset and frankly, worried about tomorrow in this Greedy country. A country spending my money and future on their rich buddies' failed businesses.

I say HOCKY, quit it, and I see why people stop paying taxes and get lost in the woods.

I am ashamed to be an American. I don't want either party to win. I don't believe in any of them or what they promise. These polititians all say what will get them elected.

I frankly do not believe any of them are honest, out for the good of us or can stop this speeding bullet train from crashing and killing all of us.

I am angry as hell and I'm not going to take it any more !!!!!!!

I feel the life being sucked out of me a penny at a time. The hell with this. At least Bill Clinton had a balanced budget until Bush came on the scene !

I can tell you this, one bank that I know of is concerned about a "run on their bank."

I think it's get what belongs to you or lose it today. What a difference 8 years has made. SAD !

life safari 09-19-08

this little face pretty much sums up how I feel this morning. Lost, alone, scared and perplexed by the past few weeks.

Too much work, too much stress, Ike, gridlock on the streets and in need of a nice change of scenery. A vacation is, indeed, going to be in the planning stages for me. I think a nice pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal in Perryville, Missouri is in order.

Today, I am only Grateful that it is Friday and I can be away from that job for 2 days
Thank YOU, Lord

life safari 09/18/08

"He's got the whole world in His hands..."

Thank God for the end of Ike and the destruction. I am flabergasted by the total devistation of Boliver Island and Galveston.
My home was spared any physical damage. I appropriately feel humbled by this fact. My power was restored last night at 6:45 pm and now I have "power restoration guilt." So many of my friends are most likely still without I'm sorry to say.

This hurricane was one to learn new facts regarding hurricanes. For instance, it was on the water surge level a cat4. On a wind level a Cat2. I have never heard a seperation of water and wind surges until Ike. This storm was more powerful that Carla in 1961 because of the water surge category. We live and learn !

This morning, I am Grateful and Thankful that/for...

I and my loved ones are safe and alive

the power is back on in my home. I keep wondering if it will go out again. I'm not feeling sure of it just yet
many of my clients from work are safe, alive with no damages to some damages but, repairable

One client however, has a beach house in Galveston. She absolutely lives through her work week to leave work and hurry to her house there. I have not seen her since the hurricane so have no idea what her results are. I hope for the best for her but fear the worst. I do not fear for her life, I do fear for her happiness and devistation if her beach home is in ruins. Oh sure, she can probably rebuild. I have just watched her for 2 1/2 years and her joy of going to her "heaven on earth" every Friday. Theresa, you are in my prayers !

the street lights are getting repaired and workable - slowly. It took over an hour to go to Bellaire and back to work yesterday on my lunch break

the animals of people who had to evacuate were taken care of this time - up front (thank you St. Francis)

as other's have told me, I too got to know a couple of my neighbors that I previously did not know

that my coworker who was verbally using me as his "kick the dog" object for a couple of days has now suddenly shaped up since I threatened to go to Human Resources about it. And my boss stopped justifying his bad behavior too, I might add. Really, you two !!!!!!

It is shameful that the above is so commonplace (in the workplace) and some do not know how to get relief. I almost quit over this mess the second day of it. Had the situation not turned around, I would have made good on my threat. I may or may not have gotten resolution from HR but, at least it got the situation resolved just at the mention - just say'n...

for God's Grace and forgiveness. I am not an ideal Christian or Catholic. I wish I was better

I take solice in the fact that Mother Theresa had her doubts, blank areas of fellowship with God, etc. Yet, I know she kept her diligence up. I give up and wander in the wilderness (so to speak) until I finally realize that I can not do it by myself. Then I go running back to God for help and love and forgiveness.

I can't, He can, I think I'll let Him.

Thank YOU

life safari 09-12-08

Ike Friday.

Well, Precious and I will just be laying around the house today. There is a skeleton crew at our building for a few of our "AllBidness" clients and a small crew for keeping our building and them in good condition through the storms.

My cell phone battery happened to die on me last night. I sit here this morning wondering if anything is opened today. I would like to deposit my pay check and buy a batter for the phone. I guess I'll venture out toward the bank and just see if they are opened a half day today.

I am now working a shift of 8:00 am to 5:oo pm with one hour for lunch. And, NO MS LATE NIGHTS ANY MORE!!!!!!! Yeah.

I was saddened by the fact that Ike got all attention and no mention of the terror of 9-11-01 was made. The hurricane isn't even here yet. I have grown weary of all this coverage of these storms. When they develop, every foot they move is all over the news now. It has gotten to be over-kill any more.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

that I do not live on the gulf beach
Precious and I have each other to huddle with when Ike comes in
that I have a day of rest today after all those crazy double shifts and new schedule BUT, it is cutting out much of my over-time that I lost so much sleep to earn
that my AA friends and family are all doing well
to be able to shelter in my home and not a shelter
God's Grace
Precious
coffee and soup to eat, cooked on my Coleman stove. My camp toilet if I need it and a hurricane lamp. Batteries. Battery powered tv amd radio - awesome. Precious and I are ready !

Love you all. Stay safe and, you are in my prayers and thoughts. Love you, me

life safari 09/11/08

When the wind gets heavy, be sure and cover up and stay away from windows !

So much to reflect on today. The horror of the attack on our nation and the devastation to lives from such unthinkable destruction.
God Bless America !
I remember the feeling of "this can not be happening" when I first heard parts of the report on the radio. After tuning in on the television and realizing that this was actually happening, my first response was to get to the noon meeting at Lambda. The room that day was filled to capacity with others who could think of no other place they would rather be to process the horror of what was going on. We had a member who did not know whether her mother was safe - she worked at the Pentagon.

I hold these memories and feelings today. I truly hope and pray that as Americans we never have to try and wrap our minds around something so "unreal" and horrifying again. God help those that are foolish enough to try !

Everyone stay as safe as possible. I pray we will all be safe when Ike passes through.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

that we are not living through the original date of 09/11/2001 today
God's Grace
Precious
safety of my home from the elements
Freedom
friends and loved ones
thank YOU

What a day I had today. What a day I am going to have later this morning ! I have not been to sleep or even to bed. So, these two days are merging into one long and tiring event.

Because I have had limited sleep the past week, my nerves and feelings are very close to the surface. At the end of my shift, someone caused my anger to get, and keep me irritated to the point that I am still awake. This is going to be a very long day because of my lack of rest.

There is a point of "no return" for me. If I stay awake to a certain time then sleep, all the alarms in the world will not get me up. I passed that point some time ago. Now I just have to struggle through my day tomorrow (later) and keep my eyes open.

I was able to write my boss the things that I need to get out of my head that are upsetting me at work. Now, I can, and have relaxed about them and feel relief. Nothing will change, of course. I know this because the same issues I have had in this garage are still issues today (after 2 1/2 years). Until people have consequences for their actions, nothing changes. And, although there are policies in regards to the garage, building management does not support our efforts to enforce those policies. Therefore, people treat us with disdain and blow us off.

I am Grateful for...

coffee. HOT coffee. Hot coffee with honey and milk, yeah
Precious who sleeps and wakes up and sits with me. Supports and loves me, awesome cat
computers
Amazon.com
Duffy and "Mercie"

I am Thankful for...

if I don't quit or get fired, after tomorrow I will work 8:00 am to 5:00 pm with one hour for lunch, SWEET

God's unwarranted LOVE and GRACE

life safari 09-07-08

Sunday is almost over and a new work week begins. I have been working both shifts at my job because my co-worker quit without notice. This is the third occasion that I have had to cover both shifts in 2 1/2 years (daily, I mean).

I have listened to interviews of the candidates for President of the U.S.A. and neither tells HOW they intend (Specifics here, please) to get the cart and ox out of the ditch ! Talk is cheap guys and gals.

Now it looks like the tax payers have to bail out the auto industry and mortgage industry. We will not have a budget to balance very soon.

Obama stamers and says "uuh, uuh, uuh FAR TO MUCH FOR MY EARS. Spit it out !

I know John McCain was a POW. I know he was put through torture that we can not imagine.

I am a HOTHEAD. Hotheads DO NOT make good managers or Presidents. But, neither do people who want to talk to get problems ironed out. First, we're dealing with people who absolutely hate us and everthing we (Americans) stand for. Most are not God fearing Christians. Most probably lie and will tell us what they think will get us off their backs and do whatever they are already doing in secret.

I have seen nothing yet that attracts my vote. Palin is an interesting choice, for sure. I like her. She can probably do a better than decent job in Washington but, I don't like her willingness to forfeit the Alaskan Tundra to drilling. Those who have been to Alaska all agree that, that great state IS the last United States pristine wilderness. And I wish it to stay that way !

Biden is about the only one in this frey that I wait to hear more from at this point. Palin had not been announced when he took his turn at their convention.

I am getting fed up with paying the bill for all these private and government agencies that are going under. We can not, on any level of government, keep heading the way we are and have been.

Look at Houston. Our roads and streets are in horrible shape. Our drainage is deplorable. We have too many people on the corners of every intersection needing help. Yardmen blow all the yard clippings into the center of the streets and leave it to go into sewers or back to the curbs(not to mention the eyesore it creates) - who cares?

I am Grateful that televisions have "on" and "off" buttons
I am Grateful for God's Loving Grace
I am Grateful for Precious and her precious cat ways
I am Grateful to be an American where I can say what I think
I am angry and I'm not going to take it anymore !

life safari 08-30-08

Well, once again a co-worker has up and quit her job with no notice. This means there will be days/evenings of working both shifts for me -yet again.

I am already at my ropes end with what is going on over there - MS and all their unannounced meetings several times, some weeks. At times I'm still in that booth at 9:30 pm waiting on two people to finish visiting after their meeting is over ! (Get a table at Denny's !)

This, however, gives me an opportunity to get off the night shift. If, and it's a big if, the process is handled right by my higher-up. I am at the point where, if I have to quit to get off of the night shift, then that may be my only way out. I will, however give a notice.

I am stepping out of my routine this morning and not mowing the yard. Going running around with Frank and looking forward to the change. Sometimes being consistent and taking care of responsibilities leads to a rut. I am in one about now.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

to be alive and well this morning
that Precious is alive and well too. We're all here together one more day
that I look forward to doing something out of my routine today
that I watched the movie Gentleman's Agreement last night. Had not seen it in some years
that I will watch Exodus tonight
for Monday off - praise God for one more day away from Briar Park
for an interesting pick in Vice President for McCain. I don't think his choice of a woman will help him now, however
I can only imagine what Hillary is thinking
My prayers are with all those folks who are in the path of Gustov. We may be getting our first hurricane in some years
May God Bless everyone and keep us all safe
thank YOU

life safari 8-29-08

Wow, did you ever feel like this ? A well-meaning friend tries to show his/her love to you but knocks the breath out of you in the process?

Here we are, another big storm bearing down on the coast. The anniversary of Katrina and the horrifying devastation in New Orleans and else-where. Who suspected 3 years ago? A woman in my building got 10 feet of water in her house. She of course moved here afterward. I find myself wondering if she relives the horror of Katrina every time there is a storm in the gulf. I imagine she does.

I am miffed about the way in which America views itself in relation to the rest of the world. The situation over Georgia and Russia has caused me to question so much. I was very encouraged to see an editorial in Sunday's (Aug. 24) that stated my case. Thank goodness I am not the only one who sees the things that we are doing as, well, strange and somewhat lopsided and twisted. I could put it in stronger terms but, I will refrain.

Let's just sufice to say that, in the above photo, The puppy may represent America and the cat, the rest of the world. We mean well...(?)

I am Grateful and Thankful that...

I believe I have made up my mind about who I want to see lead this nation
I pray for a kinder, gentler attitude for myself today
God's Grace doesn't cease when I am not in the best of moods and temperment
that I am very bored with my job right now. I need a real vacation
I look forward to a good breakfast, shopping spree at the Farmer's Market and socializing with my friend Frank tomorrow
that Precious and I are alive and well and together
that today is Friday and Monday I'm off
Oh Happy Day !!
Thank YOU

life safari 2/23/08

Happy Saturday ! I am being very lazy this morning. I get my hair cut at 1:00 today, I'm finishing drying some washed clothes and I'm NOT mowing the yard. It is the first Saturday in months that I have not gotten up and out in the yard first thing.

Speaking of the yard...I have a beautiful red rose bud that came from one of my bushes in the atrium. It is absolutely gorgeous !! This is my most fragrant rose bush and the one I enjoy most.

The hybiscus are really pretty right now with all the recent rain.

The Hummingbirds have many different plants in which to feed on and they are giving me a wonderful show. I have only seen 2 at once in the atrium. In a few short weeks it will be time for them to migrate out and they will be in larger numbers here. That is when I really have a blast watching them.

Precious is being the sweet, loving girl I have always known. I know for fact that our night of hell when she bit me is past and, I do not believe she will ever do that again. She is a very smart little cat. Too smart to have an angry mother rain hell down on her twice in the same life-time.

Sometimes that is the only way lessons are learned - for people (me) and animals (her).

Life is good today.

I am Grateful and Thankful.

life safari 8/20/08

this week is flying by. tomorrow will make 3 late nights at work with MS meetings.

I have finally resigned myself to the fact that, although I rather not work them, I don't want to be out looking for another job even more.

I have, over time (the past year) realized that I can be patient and weigh the pros and cons of a situation and make a decision based on real facts rather than emotion.

And, after all, my week is flying by because I am so busy.

A client crashed through a gate arm today and had the audacity to try and make it my fault. His concept is that, when he hands me his ticket, the gate opens. The heck with inputting the time of entry into the computer so it can process the charges and then automatically raise the gate. It takes all of 3 seconds-apparently more time that he was able to wait. To add to the mix, he got very defensive and threatening. " If I receive a bill for more than $ 25.00 I will not pay it." "I've never been anywhere that the gates takes so long to open." Blah, Blah, Blah.

I find it interesting to witness on a daily basis how people try so hard to shirk their responsibilty for their actions. I lived that way in my past.

I am Grateful and Thankful for...

the rain today
Precious
God's Grace
that tomorrow is Thursday already
more rain through the weekend
the Hummingbirds, Jays, Cardinals, Mockingbirds, Dove even had a pair of Vireo or Warbler visit the other day
that I can sleep in tomorrow and...
I intend to do just that

life safari 08/18/08

Wouldn't it be nice...

days of old and cold

life safari 8/15/08

Something I read on a friend's blog just now took me back in time. He commented about feeling weird. I just assume it is because his mother just passed away. I could be wrong but, I recalled how weird I felt after my own mother passed away. It just felt so, well, weird to know that my mother was not a part of life (living, at least) any longer. I would never be able to reach out and touch her again, see her, listen to her voice, hear her laugh. She was just not on earth any longer and that was a dumb-founding thing for me to try and wrap my mind around. I was now a "mother-less child." Weird. Sad. Lonely. Lonely for her. My mother passed away 34 years ago and it is an anniversary I will never forget - May 23, 1974. Every funeral I have been to since hers is a re-visiting of that fateful day we buried her and the trauma surrounding the day.

I believe a part of me went with my mother. I loved her then. I love her now. I missed her then, I miss her now. Right now.

On another note, my Precious cat bit me on my arm tonight. I feel totally ambushed, betrayed and positively stumped as to why she did that. I bleed easily anyway but, she bit down with all her canines and it was not a little nip. Apparently I was not petting her to her satisfaction and she bit me over it. I am very disappointed and shocked. I would like to say that I did not react over it but I reacted like a mad woman (which, I was !).

The only thing I can say about this is that, she has bitten me once. It will not happen again without dire consequences. My animals are absolutely not allowed to bite me. My little cocker bit me once and I can tell you, when I got through with her, she never did it again. I hope that Precious got the message. I am so upset over this event. Now I wonder if I can trust her ever again?

Well, one thing is for sure, while writing all of this I began to cry a bit. I think I have needed a good cry. I just wish it wasn't over my Precious little cat biting me on my arm...some things just shouldn't be.

I feel double weird.

life safari 8/13/08

Dear Dave,

what a huge loss - know that I feel your pain. I just became aware of your mother's passing. She is with other's whom we have had to bid farewell to. She is out of pain and nearer to God now. Her soul is resting in peace.

I have fond memories of the night of your first AA birthday. I was fortunate to sit with her and talk and laugh with her. She loved you so much and was so very proud of your sobriety.

We are strong people and our parents knew we would do the hard things that were in their best interests.

I have come to realize that the harder things are asked of the strongest ones. Also, the ones who love us most depend on our ability to stay the course.

You have one more Guardian Angel. The one who knows and loves you the most.

You and Pat are in my prayers, Dave. I'm sorry I did not know of the Memorial service sooner. I will pay my respects here at the house and keep you both in my prayers. Especially at Mass this Sunday.

God Bless you, kathy

life safari 08/09/08

The Hummers are back ! This shot from past years. I always look forward to August and the arrival of these beautiful little birds. It is my pleasure to watch them feed, fight and run each other off the feeders and plants. Somehow they all get enough of what they need to make their long journey on their yearly migration.

Just another of God's wonders.

Happy Saturday !