life safari - addendum

I forgot. The reason for the Nature vs. Nurture article was to say...

The Lion and the Lamb have already lay down together. When will we (people) drop the rock?

Peace and great love now - all of us.

life safari 12-06-08

I ran this clipping some time ago but, it bears a fresh look.
This lioness in the article has "adopted" several oryx. It was such a shock that some of the well-known wildlife photographers/conservationists who live and work in Africa had to go to Samburu to see her in action themselves. It is an amazing occurance. There have been no new updates for a number of years now.

What a beautiful day in Houston. I am happy to be alive. To call my time my own for two days and nights.

I am most Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I have been seeking a better understanding of how I want to be as a Child of God
as a "seeker" I have been reading about those things that have caused consternation for me in relation to being 1) Catholic 2) religion 3) faith 4) church 5) Bible/Scripture
after putting my fingers in my ears for months, I have been listening to what other's have to offer on these subjects (people who are important in my life)
for reading The Shack by William P. Young
Also, The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kid
these books and other reading I do has helped me realize that:
I have been in a place of great hurt and saddness for a very long time - it has shaded my beliefs of all 5 things above
I say I want to be a Christian but, Jesus was not a Christian - he was a Jew (I'm not knocking it)
so, to try and follow Jesus' teachings (The Beatitudes), is not striving to be a good Christian. It would be striving just to be a good person
In the book (The Shack), there is a reference to the TRINITY OF TERRORS: religion, economics, politics
When my friends tried to tell me the same things found in this book - I would have none of it !

What I am trying to say is...
unfortunately, I have had tunnel vision regarding what I believe and would hear no one who tried to explain what they had discovered about these topics
I wanted so much to find a "fix" for myself. Prescibed by someone else so I could sit and coast - not think, not work, not question, not be responsible
I am Grateful that I finally took my fingers out of my ears
I had so many that tried to drop hints to me about things. Words such as "these issues shouldn't be made to be political" - ah, yes, I see now
Gays - we are being "politicized" - I ask..."what would Jesus do?"
I do not think it is what the TRINITY OF TERRORS is doing

All I am saying is this,

I am a proud gay woman who loves to pray and worship in the Catholic church. I will continue to be Catholic. It is a beautiful religion. The Bible is a history book. It has been translated so many times in so many languages that it is common knowledge that mistakes have been made and things have been changed to suit "others" agendas.
I do also adhere to the Doctrines. The Nicene and Apostles Creeds state what we as Catholics believe. Some of the other stuff - no. And, it is not required.

I, in good conscience and with a clear understanding, tell you that I am not going to operate out of a wounded Spirit one more day !

I was aided in RCIA by a woman who has studied and taught and has a Masters Degree in religion. She tried to get me to see what I have finally come to after all these months. God Bless you, Rose !

I would not change where I have been, what I have done for the past few months.

It has gotten me to this place of comfort and better understanding

I am Grateful and Thankful to be free to be myself without my Great Saddness that I have carried since I was 5 years old. And, over the years I have stacked on more and more saddness to the pile.

Thankful and Grateful to AA and loved ones. To have had AA friends and family waiting in the wings of love for me to come to a place of change and love, humility, charity and meekness.
Thank YOU
thank you Precious
Praise God

life safari 12-4-08

Well, it's cold again, after summer weather yesterday. Only in Houston !
The static electricity is one thing I detest about the cold weather. Also the fact that the skin around my fingernails cracks and breaks.

Happy Thursday, everybody. I have been looking forward to a couple of PBS programs that run tonight. So, I will be happy to finally get to watch them.

Thanks dAAve and Scott regarding the file of passwords. I have a drawer with that info. on it for each thing I use. I just forget to look at the one for my E-mail when the service is interupted. Also, I didn't realize until the other day that "Webmail" is a different password from the E-mail one. Oh, life is complicated ! I think I have it now and will be better prepared from now on.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...

for the rain and wind as the cold front moved in last evening
for heat that comes on with the press of a button
that I am blessed with a wonderful cat companion
tomorrow is Friday AND payday !
for much and varied reading material that I enjoy at work every day
that I feel much better about my life situation in regards to my faith, sexuality, religion, beliefs, habits and life in general. I have put myself under a real strain and burden regarding how I felt I "should" be and feel for quite some time
to be free today of the huge question marks and judgements of myself about the above comment
that I accept myself just as I am today - right now. I can not say that I did so for the past several month. I tell you, I feel free today
Free to be who and what I am - and, today I am a proud lesbian, a proud Catholic, a proud woman in recovery from booze and drugs, a proud mother of a wonderful feline, a proud friend and sister to many great friends/family from Lambda Center !
I am proudly going to Mass today at noon and I am not concerned that I could be excommunicated for being gay/bi/whatever the hell I am
I strive to fulfill the principles and characteristics of THE BEATITUDES as given in the Serman on the Mount
I am a child of God and I am a product of a loving God
This is what I know and believe today and that's my story and I am fine in my conscience with it all. We are, after all - SOULS
I do not believe that SOULS have gender identification. We just are
I JUST AM
and today, I am happy with me and love my friends/family
I came to realize last weekend that I have been cutting myself off from the very thing that makes me a good human being - other human beings
I am thrilled to say that, I have taken steps to correct this situation
Praise God
God's Grace and the Grace of loving friends/family
thank YOU

life safari -Tuesday 12/2/08

This cold weather really makes me feel frisky !!! How about you?

life safari 12-2-08

This is the day of Jack's cancer scan - I pray that it will be clear. Jack almost died from his radiation treatments. He's been in remission. This is an important day for him.

I just have to share with you an article online in the news that affected me. The article was titled:

"Deer gets revenge after hunter shoots him"

Now, I am not advocating that all hunting is a terrible thing. I do, however, think that many "hunters" have unfair advantage over their prey and kill. It just does my heart good to know that, once in awhile, the animals get to exact a measure of come-up'ance while they are being - well, killed.

It seems the deer was shot, went down and looked very dead. However, the deer was not dead, jumped up and poked his beautiful rack into the hunter's head and ran off. Unfortunately and predictably so, the hunter pursued his victim but the deer required two more shots to the body to kill it. Now, I call that 1) a shame and 2) a breath of fresh air for the hunted
Wow, these "canned hunts" on big cats could use some news like this. Perhaps hunting would get back to a level playing field for all hunted animals (?) Naw, probably not. Shame.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

it is another cold morning. What a nice change from our very HOT summer
for advance notice for a very late M/S meeting tonight
I am sorely aware that my sedentary lifestyle and over-eating is adversely affecting my health
awareness is great but, I have got to act on this issue before I pass the damage done - too late mark
that Lucie has hung in there with all her health issues like a champ ! This very sweet Golden Retriever has fought for her life and her owner/mother, Trish and many friends have been willing this little Spirit dog to rally for as long as she can with out suffering - I'm thinking about you today, Lucie
I'm tremendously Grateful for my sweet Precious
to hear the birds fussing outside my window
my Internet is up and running again. Seems I get confused and can not remember all my passwords - for all my different programs
my memory is beginning to fail me more and more often
God's mercy and Grace
thank YOU

life safari - 12/1/08

I just really like this ! I don't think a Penquin can outrun a Polar Bear but, he may be able to outrun his fellow Penquin.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

a good night's sleep

the cold weather today

I finally got some cleaning in the house done. More to do, however

for the time of Devotion and Prayer this morning

I exercised those habits I had put aside and returned to a place of comfort once again regarding my Faith

Precious and her company and wonderful loving ways. We have a developed routine of habits that demonstrate our love for one another

to be alive today

I am thinking of Jack and praying for a clean cancer scan tomorrow

for the decision to get a plumber out here and address these "house issues" and get on with it

for a job. One I love is without as of today - Hang in there, another will come to you

for my health which is enhanced by being sober, clean, smoke-free and God's Grace

thank YOU

life safari - Nov. 30th 2008

The last day of November, wow, 2008 is rolling out. I just love this picture. There is another I will use next time - just makes me chuckle.

It is a beautiful day. A bit nippy but gorgeous.

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

Never have I been in a close situation with violence involving guns and death (or has any member of my family)
that the day is warming up very nicely
to have enjoyed myself last night at a friend's - have not done one on one socializing in quite some time

that I am determined and prepared to see if I still have a water leak (other than the obvious one) in my bathroom. I have just not used that room because it was such a hassle trying to get any definitive answer - short of tearing out all the sheet rock - we'll see
Because of the above, I have had much less closet space for storage - so things got strewn out around the house
although this leaking thing is a cause of anxiety, I want to get it solved and move on toward getting my house more livable and pleasing
I will be holding my breath. In the past after using that bathroom, the water wasn't present on the floor until about the 4-5 day of using it - I had 2 plumbers out who were clueless

enough about my bathroom ! I am Grateful and Thankful to have a home, food, clothes, family ...
to be sober, clean and smoke-free
for Precious to be here and give her little cat love
for the joy of nature at my finger tips
and, for the Grace of God
thank YOU

life safari - Thanksgiving Day

Try not to eat too much turkey and end up like this today.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

good books that hold my interest. I am now reading The Shack by William P. Young
for friends who call and E-mail "Happy Thanksgiving wishes" thank you
another day of life
that it is a mild weather - day
for fellowship with family
for a wonderful story about life in dAAve's post this morning
for God's Grace
for Precious and her companionship
that I am sober, clean, smoke-free - most of all, I am alive and well and able to sit up and take nourishment
I have no idea what my sister's menu is today but I look forward to whatever it is
to still be a bit shy about my spiritual worship - I just can not seem to feel at ease as I did in the past
perhaps I still have too many questions and doubts
there was a time that I would never say or admit this out loud
I also know that when I stop thinking about it all so much, I will come to a natural and pleasing conclusion
I tell myself - "have faith" and "let go and Let God"

life safari 11-26-08

Thank you Lord for the beauties of Nature all around me. I feel closest to God when I am enjoying the sights and sounds of the living things - animals, birds, plants, flowers...

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I am alive to see and hear the beauty right in my own yard
to be sober, clean and smoke-free another day
another day without some unwelcome chaos
that Precious is in my life
that all of you that read this are in my life - well, we all know of one exception (the chaos I refered to)
the day off tomorrow and possibly Friday too
to sit at the dinner table with my family tomorrow and enjoy their company and good food
for the Grace of God - I am coming out of one more "dry" periods of spirituality
I may have finally put to rest my doubts regarding my beliefs
the knowledge that no one can go through my trials for me
for this beautiful weather
to be alive and well
thank YOU

life safari 11-25-08

Boy, I wish I was on this road right now. A vacation would be a welcome reprieve about now.

Happy Tuesday everyone ! M/S has given me a nice gift - they will have no meetings this week -yahoo !!!! No late nights. That's almost as good as a vacation. Or, at least it will suffice for now.

I am Grateful and Thankful for...

my life as it is today - it needs tweaking, but all is well
Precious and I are well and have each other's company
the relatively "cold" temperatures are nice. It warms up nicely during the afternoon
a relaxing morning
another day of being sober, clean and smoke-free
Thanksgiving day with my sister and brother-in-law
that I am not sad about anything today (as opposed to the recent past)
that it is a beautiful, clear and bright day
that I truly like The Secret Life of Bees - a great read !
thank YOU

life safari 11-21-08

my nose feels t h i s big

Friday -yeah !! I only wish I felt better physically. Had to breathe through my mouth last night and woke up very dry at 6:00 am.

Couldn't go back to sleep for knowledge of needing to wrap some pipes outside. So, around 8:30, I got wrapped up and got the pipes wrapped up nice and warm.

I would really like to stay home today but am not able to do so.

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

getting the pipes wrapped

that this cold will run it's course - eventually

to have reading material at work that I can enjoy

that Friday's are relatively slow

for Precious

many other things I am grateful for which I am not listing here today

life safari 11-20-08

Another beautiful day (somewhat foggy) and, it's payday. Hopefully the boss will remember to go pick up our checks.

I seem to have been in a place of fantasy for awhile. Although friends and loved ones tried to shed light on the issues, I would have none of it. Now, upon digging into research on my own, I find that what they were trying to tell me, is in fact, what I have discovered in my research.

The subject has to do with the Bible and religion. I have many questions for my Sponsor and now have ears to hear what he has to say. Unlike in times past.

Now, I get to find a place where I can be comfortable - in my own skin, in the manner in which I want to worship, and begin anew - with eyes and heart open to new ways of thinking and living.

It amazes me how silly (sheepish) I feel regarding these matters. However, I am not going to dwell on this point. I am going to ask, listen, dig, read as much as possible, as I have done, and carve out a space for myself that is comfortable and workable.

I feel like a new person this morning. Last evening I felt like I had been hit with a frying pan.
(good to have a hard head sometimes).

It is Thursday and a good day to be alive !

I am Grateful and Thankful...

for the love and patience of my friends/loved ones
for work and paydays
that Precious is an awesome cat and lives with me
for an awakening that sets me on a new path
to realize that it's all about The Love

life safari 11-19-08

Well, too bad that the fanatic and highly ill mikey is back on the scene.

I have reported his discremenitory and lewd blogs to the powers that be of blogs and internet.

He is actually being watched and monitored now, so, he may be off the line very soon - Praise God.

For this, I am very Grateful and Thankful.

Also, just found out that a friend from the past was found deceased a week or so ago.

So sorry my friend ! Her passing has been very hard on one of my other friends and I hold both in my heart and prayers.

I am most Grateful and Thankful for/that...

I am alive and well today

Precious is too

I am thinking ahead about my own arrangements for my day of passing

I finally got someone at the funeral home to get off of high-center and look into my inquiry

this beautiful weather-wow, it makes being alive so rich and refreshing

for the home I have and the beauty of the atrium area - such as it is

I say this because a friend has a much prettier setup at her home and I tend to wish that is what I have - rather, I am Blessed to have what I have and appreciate it

Thank YOU God for the Blessings of my home and set-up

I sometimes want what I do not have and forget that I have something other's wish they had

I am Blessed to have anything - what I have is very special to me at this very moment

today, I am going to hang onto this feeling of Gratitude for the Blessings I have right here, right now

Thanks Be to God

Amen

life safari 11-18-08

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCOTT !!!!!

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...

for this absolutely fantastic day in Houston

for my sobriety and my friend's, Scott W

for Precious

that the dark mood of last night has left me

for God's Grace

thank YOU

life safari 11-17-08

I heard a news report just a few moments ago and it just had me in tears on my knees.
A horse, someones pet was found dead from being struck between the eyes with a sledge hammer. I am absolutely stricken with grief. How can man be so cruel to animals. How can man be so cruel to man. What sort of person or persons can do this type of cruelty? Animals, I reason, can't talk back, can be tied up and restrained to have this hell visited upon them. But, right after that thought comes to mind that the same things are done to people too - every day some place in this world. How truly tragic and sad. God forgive us - mankind-mancruel

tonight, I am Grateful and Thankful...

that seeing a stray cat at the Post Office on my way home, I am so happy and grateful that Precious is safe and sound

I held her to me tightly and kissed her as I always do when I see animals running loose. I'm so glad she is safe !

that I do not miss drinking

that Jack is in remission. He has a cancer scan Dec. 2nd. I am praying that he will be cancer-free and remain so - it is a Miracle that he is in remission after his condition from radiation

I am doing well on my diet and exercise routine this week

that there are plenty of non-fattening crunchy foods I can eat to dull hunger

that I am not or do I know any cruel people

for the pleasure of friendship. Mary, a friend has come back into my life and I am enjoying our times together

for a social weekend

for having 11 years sober and clean today

that I celebrated with friends and family at the noon meeting

that I am moved to pray for man's cruelty to cease

for God's Grace

thank YOU

Saturday, Nov. 15th, 2008 I am (and a friend) going to a Punk Rock concert.

My hair dresser and some of her friends had a very famous band called MyDolls. They actually toured and got on radio and many other accolades before they stopped playing in 1986.

I was not aware of Trish until just a bit later. My best friend back when knew Trish and went to her gigs. There is another band member whom I know and, again, much later met.

Now, the two are playing at the Noise and Smoke fate Saturday night @ Notsuoh/

Dean's. The MyDolls go on stage at 11:00 pm. Mary and I will be there, I hope you will join us Saturday Night.

This morning, I am Grateful and Thankful...

just to be alive another day

to have eyes and ears to see and hear the beautiful birds that visit in the atrium

that I have a job

that God gave me the company of Precious

apparently Lucy is hanging in there and is still giving her love to clients at Wavelength Salon

that I got up and at 'em early this morning

for the Grace of God

Thank YOU

life safari 11-12-08

Good morning. Houston has been getting some daily rain - we have needed some.

I don't know why or when I decided this but 12 is my favorite number. It's even, it's nice and big - soothing to my eyes. It sounds good when said -twelve - nice !

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

to be alive another day
that I am healthy
I am sober, clean and smoke-free
I live with a cat that is the most Precious thing that owns me
to have plans for the weekend - something out of the ordinary
to be able to feel pain for a friend as she faces the impending death of a beloved pet
that I have been privileged to know Lucy - a wonderful Golden Retriever
We will still have our Rosie, Lucy's pal. Rosie went through some hairy physical trials in the past as well (another awesome Golden Retriever)
the Grace of God - without which I am toast
thank YOU

I would like to mention :
Houston lost our little 2 year old elephant at the Houston Zoo Sunday. It was unexpected, fast and very devastating to all the Zoo personnel
One of many elephants we have lost to herpesvirus in our history - very unfortunate. Not a "sexual" cause of the virus. As a matter of fact, humans carry this virus in our body. No one knows what sets it off.

You were well loved and will be greatly missed, Mac !

life safari - 11-9-08

What a nice day and evening this is.

The weather today was as perfect as it can be for this time of year here in H-Town.

A friend from my recent past called and we got together today after church. We laughed and talked and had a wonderful time. I have not laughed that much or that loud in a very long time !

She has recently remodeled her home. She did the work herself and it is absolutely beautiful ! Mary is her name and she rewired her home, laid new floors, laid new tile and many other things. It is a nice thing to know that if you have the will, are willing to read books and get in and TRY (yes, she was stumped a time or two), one can get it done and save that money to hire it out.
She has a beautiful back yard. Her home backs up to a cooling lake from a sugar mill off of Oyster Creek. Her landscaping, gardens and laid stone walkways she also put in herself.
To top all this off - she shed 65 pounds in the process !

So, I have a good example of a woman who tried, did and I can give it a shot too. She has lit a fire under me. And, I have neighbors who will gladly give me a hand if I need help.

So, in the near future I will get this flooring up and start with that task. I will probably hire a couple of men who are eagar for work that wait outside Home Depot. I'm certain they will be more than happy to earn some wages and I can spare having my back and sciatic nerve irritated.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

for the Grace of God
for Precious - my sweet, loving cat
that Mary called, I responded and we are renewing our friendship after many years
for her openness to accompany me to a 80's Punk Rock concert next Saturday night
the affection that Lucy (a fine Golden Retriever) bestowed on me when I went to my haircutter's salon for my haircuts. Lucy is gravely ill with kidney disease. She is a loving, and very loved girl !
that I am at such peace at this moment. Laughter is indeed the best medicine
I intend to do more of that and a lot of it !
I feel so good I may even get up on the dance floor Saturday night and bounce around (dance)
Thank YOU
Trish, Lucy, Rosie - you are all in my heart and prayers !
I love you and I am sad

life safari

Oh Boy ! AAAAAHHHHHH. I have finally begun breathing again today.

I am excited and happy about the future. I am very happy that I did get involved in the election. I was not interested really in any of the four people running and was not going to vote.

But, when Colin Powell endorsed Obama, I said, O.K., that's my candidate. I happen to have much respect for Powell. I would have voted for him had he run.

It looks to me as though the nation is in giddy happiness and daring to dream of peace, equality and brotherhood.

I am happy, joyous and free today !

Praise God and Thank YOU

life safari-Tuesday

Happy Tuesday !

I am Grateful and Thankful to be:

alive and well

to have a faith and trust in the Lord

to live with a very special cat

able to see and listen to the birds that come to feed and play

sober, clean and smoke-free another day

for the elections to soon be over

to have a movie to watch tonight - I have had enough of the election

in a country where I may worship as I choose

Thank YOU