life safari #72 and #73

Good Sunday. I fell behind on my posts. I was busy and unable to write Saturday but, the day was very productive. Had an inpromtu "garage sale" of the rubbish we took from behind the stage at the Center. It was not announced because we did not want anyone bringing anything from their home, we just wanted to see what we could glean from what we had. As it turns out, for the items we had to "sell" we made about $300.00. Enough to buy the shelves we need to purchase to store the keeper items behind the stage on.

It was a fun day. Early start (8:00 am) but, funa s the morning progressed.

I was able to make my amends to D for my comments and judgements regarding our "matching funds" contributor on Friday night, a week ago. He was very gracious and accepted my apology.
I learned a lot from that incident and will not jump to judge again. I was wrong on all levels and will not repeat that behavior.

I have a new respect for the board members of the Center. I like and respect all of them. It is a wonderful thing to "play" with people one works with.

It is a beautiful bonding experience. I have a new set of glasses. Thank you D,T,B,D and M.

I believe we make a strong team for the Lambda Board. We are there to serve, hopefully make some safety corrections and save the Center some money in the bargain.

I am proud to serve with you guys and dolls (Z). teehee

I am Grateful and Thankful..
to be clean and sober another day
a wonderful Birthday Night last night
Happy AA Birthday everyone !
Jeanie, I am thinking of you and will call you to see how you are doing. You were missed last night. God Bless.
Thank YOU

life safari #71

Oh, Happy Friday. What a long, hot week.
No hummingbird sightings to report.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

the weekend ahead
one more day sober and clean
Although I have a busy weekend ahead, I welcome it - different scenery, different chores
change is good
I finally found the black and white negatives from the class I took several years ago
brings back some good memories for me
it will be fun to scan them in the computer this weekend - my treat after I get the yard work done on Sunday
Birthday, Saturday night
Starting on September 13th, my focus will be altered. I will be on a journey that I have wanted to walk for many years. Frank is kind enough to walk with me and guide me.
I am ready, I am willing, I am excited and eager to start this process of learning and living
I have needed direction and teaching and that is finally coming to fruition
God's Grace
AA
my sweet boss who is allowing me to take time off from my job to "seek" and "live" my dream
MM is one of my biggest supporters of my Spiritual quest - thank You, Mike
and, Thank YOU, my AA family !

life safari #70

So glad the week is almost over. I have had a nice week because I have done some things around the house before going to work. It makes coming home a joy.

I will have a busy weekend at the Center starting on Friday night-late and early Sat. morning.
Since I have chosen to not run back and forth to the Center all week, I look forward to the work ahead there.

No Hummingbird sightings. Darn it !

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...
I have an atrium for Precious to go out in - my Precious cat can be a Lioness for awhile
being sober and clean another day
that Sunday I will tackle going through a couple of my closets and get them cleaned out
I could open my own "frame shop" I have so many - good garage sale fare
I actually look forward to having the garage sale when it gets cooler
What money I make will go toward a trip to France and Italy
Saturday night is Aug. Birthday Night - lots of long-term sobriety !
that when I ruminate on issues that distress me, I eventually come up with the "right answers"
self examination has been one of the gifts of AA for me
when I'm wrong, I have the guts to admit it and make amends - some are due this weekend (amends, that is)
for the people who love me and tell me the truth in a loving manner
I like to eat my crow with Blue Cheese dressing - big chunks of blue cheese
God's Grace
thank YOU

life safari #69

Hump Day. It's a down-hill slide from here.

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...
to be sober and clean again today
for my home which has been my "haven" for many years
for a chat with my Sister yesterday. It's been awhile.
to finally be "coming into my own" as a person (about time!)
the realization that, my Father cast a long shadow in my life. The past five years has been a process of "stepping out of it" for me.
that I have not felt like I have to burn up the roads going to and coming back from town this week before reporting for work. I live and work in one area of town and the Center is in another.
I am content and happily doing a bit of house cleaning before I go to work, instead
To Spiritually feel lighter and happier this week
no "late nights" at work this week
Precious and her cat ways
God's Grace
thank YOU

life safari #68

Tuesday - what a gorgeous day out !

I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...

after 3 hours on the phone with Symantec last night, I now have my Norton Security program working
that my computer is protected finally after many failed attempts on my own
those people at their offices are EXTREMELY patient, understanding and diligent
even though the above people's accents are very heavy, after 3 hours I had no problem understanding them
I will not have to sit through that hell again in the future
DSL - having "dial-up" was the problem in the first place with the security download
Very loving and kind responses to my anger regarding the issue with the Center
thank you SW, DU and, my sweet boss, MM
I am loved whether I am happy or angry
I can be wrong in my actions regarding my feelings and get back up and change my demeanor - I do not have to run away today
I am sober and clean another day
God's Grace

life safari #67

What a beautiful Monday morning.

I am Grateful and Thankful...
to be sober and clean this morning
that my back is well rested
I got great sleep through the night
Although I awoke at 4:30, I was able to go back to sleep until 8:00 am
I am having doubts about being so involved in the Lambda Center - it seems like a men's meat market lately (boy's meat market to be more correct)
It probably has been all along, I'm just seeing it lately - just MY opinion
that the days of my seeking someone to fill that hole in my center has been replaced with my Higher Power
I love many people at Lambda, they are my Family but, for me, it is time for a change of recovery setting - 'nuff said
for Precious
for my home and it's newly mowed and manicured lawn and flower beds
I pray to be able to step away a bit without prejudice, judgement or animosity
the road narrows
I leave this morning with one piece of "food for thought" - What price Glory?
Namaste

life safari #66 3/4

Oh, I'm soooo sleepy !

Night all.

life safari #66 1/2

Sunday evening. Well, as I suspected, doing the yard work totally pushed out all negative thoughts and feelings. Other than thoughts of survival, that is. Oh my, I am so grateful that I don't have more lot than I've got. I waited until 5:00 pm and still thought I would pass out seveal times. But, the mowing is done, weedeating in the atrium, and watered the plants. I had a nice shower afterward and feel proud of how the yard looks. My spirits are raised and my yard work is finished for the week - let it rain or whatever it's going to do.

I also got clothes that were stacked on my bunk beds for a time, folded and put away.

Life is good Sunday night. Other than a very tired back, I'm ready for a good work week.

Still no Hummers about. Plenty of butterflies to enjoy, however.

Well, I leave you all with a wish for a good night and a good week. Oh, and a picture that sums up how we feel here at the abode. Precious says it best.

Night all.

life safari #66

Sunday.
Report on Hummingbird sightings - none so far.

Today I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...
I usually catch my misspelled words prior to posting
the same with "transposing" letters - happening very often lately
it is very sunny this morning - hot and sunny
I feel a bit old today
there is a feeling of disappointment in me that I can't quite put my finger on today - it has to do with last night
I believe it has to do with the "new generation" coming and the "old guard" being replaced
Yep, I'm getting old
to have great memories of years past (and people) at the Center
for the talent, guts and joy of those who performed for us last night
to be clean and sober today
to be getting more done around the house
for pictures that document life and times in my life
for the good and the bad times in my life - it all shaped who I am
I want to be just like my cat when I grow up !
I want and need to "surrender" my worries about the future to my Higher Power but it is difficult this morning
God's Grace - I am not worthy
that perhaps I will feel better Spiritually after I mow the yards
thank YOU

www.flickr.com peanut1997's Set #1 photoset

life safari #65

Ah, it's Saturday again.

I am Grateful and Thankful...
no rain yet, today
two days off from work
that talking about my thoughts and feelings always diffuses my anger
when I get past just being angry and see all sides of an issue, I am less reactive and perverse
I wish I could get to the above faster than I do
that I realize that I need to be in a place of gratitude about having my job - it is a good deal for me
I get to do more service work at Lambda tonight
It's not all about me
I forget that life isn't fair - I know that for a fact but keep trying to make it different. It isn't fair for all, not just for me
to be sober and clean today
the realization that I need to laugh in the face of difficulty more often - I am too serious. Too intense.
that I was able to make someone feel special and cared for in a time of sadness, grief and loss
I have a "purpose" here on earth
God's Grace
Precious, who has changed me in ways that needed to be changed. Her little loving Spirit has tempered my reactions over these 6 - 7 years.
AA and my AA family have tempered the rest
Thank YOU

life safari #64

TGIF.

My emotions have been all over the place this week. Partly, getting back to work after time off. Work tends to interfere in my social life. Yesterday I realized I was depressed. There are some things that happen around work that are issues for "fighting for the principle" of it. I have gotten to a point in my life where I hate to be so conflicted. If other's would do what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it - there would be no problem. It's the notion of "where my rights begin and end" and "where your rights begin and end." It's an on-going issue around these un-announced meetings that I'm asked to stay late for at work. It now seems like a weekly ordeal and I feel my rights are at issue. This creates anger in me which leads to depression. Just do what you're supposed to do. Now hear this...your lack of organization does not create a crisis in my life !!!!!!!!! 'Nuff said ?

I am Grateful and Thankful...

it's Friday
rain and cooler temperatures
it takes a few days to figure out that I am depressed now but it least I finally realize what I'm feeling
in the past, I had no awareness of what I felt - ever. I thought I was just "mad" all the time
I can go over and love on Precious and feel better
no wonder pets increase longevity in humans - what a Blessing !
one more day clean and sober
the realization that I am not in a place of "surrender" on a couple of issues
the realization that, Surrender is the goal
this "Mortgage" mess has affected many. Some where I work. Yesterday was a very hard day for some. Unfortunately, there will be more ripples to come
God's Grace
Thank YOU

life safari #63

Just want to tell Robert A. that I have he and his family in my heart. They have lost their Mother, GrandMother. It's not enough to go through normally but these Tropical Depressions are threatening to create havoc in the Brownsville area.

So sorry for your loss and I send you all my love.We at the Center, send you all our love.

Today I am Grateful and Thankful...

I am some years away from the grief of death of a family member
that time really does heal these hightened feelings
for rain and cooler temperatures
that last night is over - I am growing weary of working late so often
perhaps a "day job" would suit my needs better now
another day clean and sober
another week almost over
a payday on the horizon
God's Grace which I'll never deserve
thank YOU

life safari

Wednesday's were my Father's and my "breakfast club" meeting day.

I miss you, Dad !

life safarie #62

Good morning. It is a bit cooler this A.M.

I got the yard mowed before we get rain from the system off our coast - I'm a happy camper.
I just delight in my yard when It is freshly mowed

Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...
for prediction of some rain (finally)
I am prepared, in case of hurricanes this year
that, my drinking/drugging story is "just garden variety" but my recovery is miraculous
to be alive - so many aren't
that I am sober and clean and smoke-free today
I am happy the way in which I handled my anger yesterday - I did nothing, said nothing and looked for MY part in the affair
that the knowledge that I have a part in everything takes most of the lashing-out away
lesson I've tried to get down all my adulthood - It's not What I say, it's HOW I say it
nice, loving, calm, polite and respectful is the way in which I choose to conduct myself today
for advance notice that I am requested to stay late at work tonight
Precious and her loving company
my Sponsor and AA family
God's Grace in my life
thank YOU

life safari #61

Ok, I've put down the cigarettes again. I had such a coughing spell last night that it was the only sensible choice.

I intend to work the steps on smoking (quitting), pray for help and just try and think how awful I felt last night - that remembrance should keep me abstainant for some time.

Good morning. A very Happy Birthday wish to Bob S. !!!!!!

I am Grateful and Thankful...

for the ability to breathe in oxygen this morning
God's Grace
another day sober and clean
the vacant house next door is getting their yard mowed - finally
it's garbage day for us
the hot coffee
that I have a home, yard, cat and I'm physically able to get around without a cane
Frank - a long-time friend and now my Sponsor and family
Bob S. - another long-time friend and family
for so many Blessings it amazes me
Thank YOU

life safari #60 3/4

Well, the day at work was good. Hot, but good.

It was rather slow which was just fine with me. Too hot to move around much.

Went to the noon meeting, it left me cold. I wonder why folks who don't come around for a very long time want to lead meetings because they seem to be out of touch with their audience, tend to talk about themselves in relation to the topic too long and too often, call on their cronies in the meeting, and in general, appear to struggle to fit in.

The other problem today was that several folks that shared tended to lecture and were using those "you" and "they" statements. Talk about YOURSELF. Speak from your gut about YOU, not outside yourself. Oh, I just want to scream when members talk like that in meetings.

Where is YOUR experience, strength and hope on the subject?

Sorry for the rant. If one does not have something to share, it is ok to pass.

I realize the main thing is to do what ever it takes to stay sober for that hour. It just frustrates me when I believe I'm being fed a lot of hockey.

the end

life safari #60 1/2

Looking over the Shenendoah Valley from Skyline Dr. VA.

Martha W's beautiful home. Hi Martha, glad to hear from you again.

life safari #60

Ohhhh, I woke up this morning very rested. I feel physically better today than I have in weeks. For that, I am truly Grateful.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

to be alive, sober and clean today
to have had a fun and productive weedend at the Center
that I respect all of the board members of Lambda
to have a very loving Sponsor
that Precious is enjoying her time in the atrium being a cat
if I'm not careful, I may just get a healthy balance in my life (teehee) What a Blessing that will be
to be an alcoholic in recovery - I have a program for living
I embrace the changes I have wanted to make and was too hesitant to even try
that today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am happy, joyous and free today
Thank YOU

life safari #59

What a nice Sunday. Too hot, but enjoyed the work and fellowship at the Center.

I am Grateful and Thankful...

that it is Sunday
that I worked hard along with other's and we got alot of clearing of "rubbish" accomplished
a new respect and understanding of my fellow Lambda Board Members - we are a good team
the more we are around each other the better we treat each other - wonderful !
You guys/dolls (Zane) at Lambda are very Special to me. You helped save my life. Thank YOU
to get to hole up under the ceiling fans and relax the rest of my Sunday
for my new "huge" refrigerator. It has a freezer too - Icecream !!!!!!
for Sonny, the sister I always wanted. I'm so Blessed that we have one another to love and share life together
for Frank and his love and care. It is my pleasure to get to know him and allow him to help me on my Spiritual journey
Precious and her loving little Spirit. She's a wonderful cat
that I'm not a roofer or on a road crew
God's Grace
thank YOU