TGIF.
My emotions have been all over the place this week. Partly, getting back to work after time off. Work tends to interfere in my social life. Yesterday I realized I was depressed. There are some things that happen around work that are issues for "fighting for the principle" of it. I have gotten to a point in my life where I hate to be so conflicted. If other's would do what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it - there would be no problem. It's the notion of "where my rights begin and end" and "where your rights begin and end." It's an on-going issue around these un-announced meetings that I'm asked to stay late for at work. It now seems like a weekly ordeal and I feel my rights are at issue. This creates anger in me which leads to depression. Just do what you're supposed to do. Now hear this...your lack of organization does not create a crisis in my life !!!!!!!!! 'Nuff said ?
I am Grateful and Thankful...
it's Friday
rain and cooler temperatures
it takes a few days to figure out that I am depressed now but it least I finally realize what I'm feeling
in the past, I had no awareness of what I felt - ever. I thought I was just "mad" all the time
I can go over and love on Precious and feel better
no wonder pets increase longevity in humans - what a Blessing !
one more day clean and sober
the realization that I am not in a place of "surrender" on a couple of issues
the realization that, Surrender is the goal
this "Mortgage" mess has affected many. Some where I work. Yesterday was a very hard day for some. Unfortunately, there will be more ripples to come
God's Grace
Thank YOU
About Me
- peanut
- Houston, Texas, United States
- I am a native Houstonian. I have never lived elsewhere. I have had the opportunity to travel over the years. I am a recovering alcoholic. I have one cat who is indoor only.I love coffee very hot, popcorn, sweets, the sound of hummingbirds in flight, the songs of Mockingbirds, chirp of the Cardinals,butterflies, puppy breath, horse breath, the feel and sound of a cat purring (especially mine).
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
life safari #63
Just want to tell Robert A. that I have he and his family in my heart. They have lost their Mother, GrandMother. It's not enough to go through normally but these Tropical Depressions are threatening to create havoc in the Brownsville area.
So sorry for your loss and I send you all my love.We at the Center, send you all our love.
Today I am Grateful and Thankful...
I am some years away from the grief of death of a family member
that time really does heal these hightened feelings
for rain and cooler temperatures
that last night is over - I am growing weary of working late so often
perhaps a "day job" would suit my needs better now
another day clean and sober
another week almost over
a payday on the horizon
God's Grace which I'll never deserve
thank YOU
So sorry for your loss and I send you all my love.We at the Center, send you all our love.
Today I am Grateful and Thankful...
I am some years away from the grief of death of a family member
that time really does heal these hightened feelings
for rain and cooler temperatures
that last night is over - I am growing weary of working late so often
perhaps a "day job" would suit my needs better now
another day clean and sober
another week almost over
a payday on the horizon
God's Grace which I'll never deserve
thank YOU
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
life safarie #62
Good morning. It is a bit cooler this A.M.
I got the yard mowed before we get rain from the system off our coast - I'm a happy camper.
I just delight in my yard when It is freshly mowed
Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...
for prediction of some rain (finally)
I am prepared, in case of hurricanes this year
that, my drinking/drugging story is "just garden variety" but my recovery is miraculous
to be alive - so many aren't
that I am sober and clean and smoke-free today
I am happy the way in which I handled my anger yesterday - I did nothing, said nothing and looked for MY part in the affair
that the knowledge that I have a part in everything takes most of the lashing-out away
lesson I've tried to get down all my adulthood - It's not What I say, it's HOW I say it
nice, loving, calm, polite and respectful is the way in which I choose to conduct myself today
for advance notice that I am requested to stay late at work tonight
Precious and her loving company
my Sponsor and AA family
God's Grace in my life
thank YOU
I got the yard mowed before we get rain from the system off our coast - I'm a happy camper.
I just delight in my yard when It is freshly mowed
Today, I am Grateful and Thankful...
for prediction of some rain (finally)
I am prepared, in case of hurricanes this year
that, my drinking/drugging story is "just garden variety" but my recovery is miraculous
to be alive - so many aren't
that I am sober and clean and smoke-free today
I am happy the way in which I handled my anger yesterday - I did nothing, said nothing and looked for MY part in the affair
that the knowledge that I have a part in everything takes most of the lashing-out away
lesson I've tried to get down all my adulthood - It's not What I say, it's HOW I say it
nice, loving, calm, polite and respectful is the way in which I choose to conduct myself today
for advance notice that I am requested to stay late at work tonight
Precious and her loving company
my Sponsor and AA family
God's Grace in my life
thank YOU
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
life safari #61
Ok, I've put down the cigarettes again. I had such a coughing spell last night that it was the only sensible choice.
I intend to work the steps on smoking (quitting), pray for help and just try and think how awful I felt last night - that remembrance should keep me abstainant for some time.
Good morning. A very Happy Birthday wish to Bob S. !!!!!!
I am Grateful and Thankful...
for the ability to breathe in oxygen this morning
God's Grace
another day sober and clean
the vacant house next door is getting their yard mowed - finally
it's garbage day for us
the hot coffee
that I have a home, yard, cat and I'm physically able to get around without a cane
Frank - a long-time friend and now my Sponsor and family
Bob S. - another long-time friend and family
for so many Blessings it amazes me
Thank YOU
I intend to work the steps on smoking (quitting), pray for help and just try and think how awful I felt last night - that remembrance should keep me abstainant for some time.
Good morning. A very Happy Birthday wish to Bob S. !!!!!!
I am Grateful and Thankful...
for the ability to breathe in oxygen this morning
God's Grace
another day sober and clean
the vacant house next door is getting their yard mowed - finally
it's garbage day for us
the hot coffee
that I have a home, yard, cat and I'm physically able to get around without a cane
Frank - a long-time friend and now my Sponsor and family
Bob S. - another long-time friend and family
for so many Blessings it amazes me
Thank YOU
Monday, August 13, 2007
life safari #60 3/4
Well, the day at work was good. Hot, but good.
It was rather slow which was just fine with me. Too hot to move around much.
Went to the noon meeting, it left me cold. I wonder why folks who don't come around for a very long time want to lead meetings because they seem to be out of touch with their audience, tend to talk about themselves in relation to the topic too long and too often, call on their cronies in the meeting, and in general, appear to struggle to fit in.
The other problem today was that several folks that shared tended to lecture and were using those "you" and "they" statements. Talk about YOURSELF. Speak from your gut about YOU, not outside yourself. Oh, I just want to scream when members talk like that in meetings.
Where is YOUR experience, strength and hope on the subject?
Sorry for the rant. If one does not have something to share, it is ok to pass.
I realize the main thing is to do what ever it takes to stay sober for that hour. It just frustrates me when I believe I'm being fed a lot of hockey.
the end
It was rather slow which was just fine with me. Too hot to move around much.
Went to the noon meeting, it left me cold. I wonder why folks who don't come around for a very long time want to lead meetings because they seem to be out of touch with their audience, tend to talk about themselves in relation to the topic too long and too often, call on their cronies in the meeting, and in general, appear to struggle to fit in.
The other problem today was that several folks that shared tended to lecture and were using those "you" and "they" statements. Talk about YOURSELF. Speak from your gut about YOU, not outside yourself. Oh, I just want to scream when members talk like that in meetings.
Where is YOUR experience, strength and hope on the subject?
Sorry for the rant. If one does not have something to share, it is ok to pass.
I realize the main thing is to do what ever it takes to stay sober for that hour. It just frustrates me when I believe I'm being fed a lot of hockey.
the end
life safari #60 1/2
Looking over the Shenendoah Valley from Skyline Dr. VA.
Martha W's beautiful home. Hi Martha, glad to hear from you again.
life safari #60
Ohhhh, I woke up this morning very rested. I feel physically better today than I have in weeks. For that, I am truly Grateful.
I am Grateful and Thankful...
to be alive, sober and clean today
to have had a fun and productive weedend at the Center
that I respect all of the board members of Lambda
to have a very loving Sponsor
that Precious is enjoying her time in the atrium being a cat
if I'm not careful, I may just get a healthy balance in my life (teehee) What a Blessing that will be
to be an alcoholic in recovery - I have a program for living
I embrace the changes I have wanted to make and was too hesitant to even try
that today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am happy, joyous and free today
Thank YOU
I am Grateful and Thankful...
to be alive, sober and clean today
to have had a fun and productive weedend at the Center
that I respect all of the board members of Lambda
to have a very loving Sponsor
that Precious is enjoying her time in the atrium being a cat
if I'm not careful, I may just get a healthy balance in my life (teehee) What a Blessing that will be
to be an alcoholic in recovery - I have a program for living
I embrace the changes I have wanted to make and was too hesitant to even try
that today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am happy, joyous and free today
Thank YOU
Sunday, August 12, 2007
life safari #59
What a nice Sunday. Too hot, but enjoyed the work and fellowship at the Center.
I am Grateful and Thankful...
that it is Sunday
that I worked hard along with other's and we got alot of clearing of "rubbish" accomplished
a new respect and understanding of my fellow Lambda Board Members - we are a good team
the more we are around each other the better we treat each other - wonderful !
You guys/dolls (Zane) at Lambda are very Special to me. You helped save my life. Thank YOU
to get to hole up under the ceiling fans and relax the rest of my Sunday
for my new "huge" refrigerator. It has a freezer too - Icecream !!!!!!
for Sonny, the sister I always wanted. I'm so Blessed that we have one another to love and share life together
for Frank and his love and care. It is my pleasure to get to know him and allow him to help me on my Spiritual journey
Precious and her loving little Spirit. She's a wonderful cat
that I'm not a roofer or on a road crew
God's Grace
thank YOU
I am Grateful and Thankful...
that it is Sunday
that I worked hard along with other's and we got alot of clearing of "rubbish" accomplished
a new respect and understanding of my fellow Lambda Board Members - we are a good team
the more we are around each other the better we treat each other - wonderful !
You guys/dolls (Zane) at Lambda are very Special to me. You helped save my life. Thank YOU
to get to hole up under the ceiling fans and relax the rest of my Sunday
for my new "huge" refrigerator. It has a freezer too - Icecream !!!!!!
for Sonny, the sister I always wanted. I'm so Blessed that we have one another to love and share life together
for Frank and his love and care. It is my pleasure to get to know him and allow him to help me on my Spiritual journey
Precious and her loving little Spirit. She's a wonderful cat
that I'm not a roofer or on a road crew
God's Grace
thank YOU
Saturday, August 11, 2007
life safari #58
Happy Saturday.
Even when I write down activities I am to do, I get it written wrongly. My mind is out to get me !
Today I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...
After hitting the "snooze button" until the alarm wouldn't go off any more, I woke up at 7:00 am. I had written that I had a function at Lambda this morning at 8:00 am.
I got the day of the function wrong but was able to have (very early) fellowship and an 8:30 AA meeting. It was an act of Providence. I enjoyed being there and had a wonderful morning.
I get to be at the Center tomorrow morning at 8:00 am and have lunch after the activity
I'm watering the yards and plants
My Sponsor and his unselfish giving of himself and his time to guide me where I want to be as a Spiritual Being - Much love to you, Frank
Mark J and my meeting of the minds this morning. He led a wonderful meeting this morning on "balance" - Good meeting Mark, thank you
To find out through his sharing that we have much more in common than I realized - I get it !
that I, and many other's are working toward becoming "peace lovers" rather than "life warriors"
To be Happy, Joyous and Free today
And,
God's Grace
Miracles
Precious
My AA Family. To truly understand and grasp the word "Family" today
AA
Lambda Center
Life
I am becoming the person I have wanted to be for a long time and was too afraid to let her out
Peace
Even when I write down activities I am to do, I get it written wrongly. My mind is out to get me !
Today I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...
After hitting the "snooze button" until the alarm wouldn't go off any more, I woke up at 7:00 am. I had written that I had a function at Lambda this morning at 8:00 am.
I got the day of the function wrong but was able to have (very early) fellowship and an 8:30 AA meeting. It was an act of Providence. I enjoyed being there and had a wonderful morning.
I get to be at the Center tomorrow morning at 8:00 am and have lunch after the activity
I'm watering the yards and plants
My Sponsor and his unselfish giving of himself and his time to guide me where I want to be as a Spiritual Being - Much love to you, Frank
Mark J and my meeting of the minds this morning. He led a wonderful meeting this morning on "balance" - Good meeting Mark, thank you
To find out through his sharing that we have much more in common than I realized - I get it !
that I, and many other's are working toward becoming "peace lovers" rather than "life warriors"
To be Happy, Joyous and Free today
And,
God's Grace
Miracles
Precious
My AA Family. To truly understand and grasp the word "Family" today
AA
Lambda Center
Life
I am becoming the person I have wanted to be for a long time and was too afraid to let her out
Peace
Friday, August 10, 2007
life safari #57
Happy Friday everyone !
What a beautiful day to be alive.
I am Grateful and Thankful...
to be sober and clean this morning
to have the joy of friendship and love
to be absolutely speechless this morning. I am in awe of life today
thank YOU
What a beautiful day to be alive.
I am Grateful and Thankful...
to be sober and clean this morning
to have the joy of friendship and love
to be absolutely speechless this morning. I am in awe of life today
thank YOU
Thursday, August 9, 2007
life safari #56 3/4
Well, got a bit more done today. Some things in the house and yards. Rested for the most part though. It was nice. Precious and I had some quality time playing ball.
I worked with my new scanner and printer today, really like it. It prints things just the oposite of my other printer. That was what I wanted to assertain. The printing of photos is superb on this machine - just have to load paper up-side down.
Tomorrow is Friday. I will mess around in the house, go to the nooner and do a bit of fellowship/service work at Lambda at 7:30 pm.
It has been a wonderful break from the job and I will be much more rested and full of energy when I get back nest week.
Well, tomorrow is the 10th and I have not spotted any Hummingbirds as yet.
I am "on watch." I'll let you know.
Good Night All PS-Scott, I hope you and Bunny are doing ok. Also, of course, I am hoping that R is on the mend. Very frustrating and scarry for all of you. You're all in my prayers.
I worked with my new scanner and printer today, really like it. It prints things just the oposite of my other printer. That was what I wanted to assertain. The printing of photos is superb on this machine - just have to load paper up-side down.
Tomorrow is Friday. I will mess around in the house, go to the nooner and do a bit of fellowship/service work at Lambda at 7:30 pm.
It has been a wonderful break from the job and I will be much more rested and full of energy when I get back nest week.
Well, tomorrow is the 10th and I have not spotted any Hummingbirds as yet.
I am "on watch." I'll let you know.
Good Night All PS-Scott, I hope you and Bunny are doing ok. Also, of course, I am hoping that R is on the mend. Very frustrating and scarry for all of you. You're all in my prayers.
life safari 56 1/2
I don't know. What do you think, does genetics play a roll in how we turn out? Oh Boy, Oh Boy.
Sumo Wrestler.
(I don't claim the hair or dress) But, no denying those tree-trunk legs or triple chins !
life safari #56
I am Grateful and Thankful for/that...
My Spirit feels ssoooo much lighter today
wonderful, energizing sleep and rest over night
today is the beginning of a wonderful journey
I love and cherish my travel companions -"La Familia"
Precious seems happier too
my new, full size refrigerator
I'm so involved in life right now that I have not been over-eating the past week - HMMMM
to have a full week and weekend doing service work and dedicating time to the religion of my choice
Frank - I look forward to our working and playing together
the changes I'm making right now. I resisted for such a long time. Now, I wonder why
It just goes to show me that I don't make changes until I'm ready to make the changes
What a fantastic new journey I am on right now - I feel like I'm growing after being dormant for a long spell
God's Grace
Thank YOU
My Spirit feels ssoooo much lighter today
wonderful, energizing sleep and rest over night
today is the beginning of a wonderful journey
I love and cherish my travel companions -"La Familia"
Precious seems happier too
my new, full size refrigerator
I'm so involved in life right now that I have not been over-eating the past week - HMMMM
to have a full week and weekend doing service work and dedicating time to the religion of my choice
Frank - I look forward to our working and playing together
the changes I'm making right now. I resisted for such a long time. Now, I wonder why
It just goes to show me that I don't make changes until I'm ready to make the changes
What a fantastic new journey I am on right now - I feel like I'm growing after being dormant for a long spell
God's Grace
Thank YOU
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
life safari #55 1/2
After hours of working in the house, I got much done. I got distracted from my house cleaning and set up my HP All in One scanner, fax, copier. That took a few hours because, as we now know, things come slower to me than the average bear.
I told my sponsor that I would stop all work about 2 1/2 hours ago. I meant to. I just kept doing one more thing. Now however, I am through for the night.
Much has gotten done - much to do still. But, as Frank said, I don't have any dead-line or anyone (other than myself) breathing down my neck to finish.
Tomorrow, I have a new refrigerator being delivered. This is a full size one. I've only had a little mini one with no freezer. Not any more !
It is a good step. I will now have plenty of room to keep lots of nurishing foods. This, I believe will help me get started on a good diet plan.
In all this house work I forgot to eat today. All I feel like doing is showering, laying on a heating pad (my back is killing me) and drift off to sleep. Boy will I sleep well tonight.
The house is more to my liking now and with just a bit more tweeking here and there, I'll be satisfied.
I bid you all a good night. Scott, I truly hope that your friend is doing better and is resting comfortably. And dAAve, I'm happy you are doing great.
I love you all. You know who you are. XOXOXOXOXXOXO
I told my sponsor that I would stop all work about 2 1/2 hours ago. I meant to. I just kept doing one more thing. Now however, I am through for the night.
Much has gotten done - much to do still. But, as Frank said, I don't have any dead-line or anyone (other than myself) breathing down my neck to finish.
Tomorrow, I have a new refrigerator being delivered. This is a full size one. I've only had a little mini one with no freezer. Not any more !
It is a good step. I will now have plenty of room to keep lots of nurishing foods. This, I believe will help me get started on a good diet plan.
In all this house work I forgot to eat today. All I feel like doing is showering, laying on a heating pad (my back is killing me) and drift off to sleep. Boy will I sleep well tonight.
The house is more to my liking now and with just a bit more tweeking here and there, I'll be satisfied.
I bid you all a good night. Scott, I truly hope that your friend is doing better and is resting comfortably. And dAAve, I'm happy you are doing great.
I love you all. You know who you are. XOXOXOXOXXOXO
life safari #55
I am Grateful and Thankful...
for time off from my job
more things to move and get into the garage to open up the rooms of my home
the realization today that...
things are just things
the knowledge that there is a "source" which has blessed me with material possessions but that they are NOT to be the object of importance in my life
the more I get rid of "things," the easier it gets
that over the years my home has become my place of serenity and peace. I do not have to go to the woods to have that feeling any more
Living beings are what I cherish today
that I am grateful to have what I have. I want what I have today and I'm happy with what I have. I only strive to better my relationship with my loved ones and have a greater faith in my Higher Power
to be clean and sober one more day
for time off from my job
more things to move and get into the garage to open up the rooms of my home
the realization today that...
things are just things
the knowledge that there is a "source" which has blessed me with material possessions but that they are NOT to be the object of importance in my life
the more I get rid of "things," the easier it gets
that over the years my home has become my place of serenity and peace. I do not have to go to the woods to have that feeling any more
Living beings are what I cherish today
that I am grateful to have what I have. I want what I have today and I'm happy with what I have. I only strive to better my relationship with my loved ones and have a greater faith in my Higher Power
to be clean and sober one more day
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
life safari #54
Today I am Grateful and Thankful...
yard mowed while (relatively) cool
more books out of the house
can put a few more bookcases in the garage
can move more things around in three rooms after work now
All of the above constitute much GRATITUDE that my home is less crowded now - much better
because.....less to dust and clean ! SWEET
that it's the last day to go to the job for 5 days
for the wonderful Edith Piaf dvd last night - BRAVO, Edith
Thank you Don !
God's Grace
yard mowed while (relatively) cool
more books out of the house
can put a few more bookcases in the garage
can move more things around in three rooms after work now
All of the above constitute much GRATITUDE that my home is less crowded now - much better
because.....less to dust and clean ! SWEET
that it's the last day to go to the job for 5 days
for the wonderful Edith Piaf dvd last night - BRAVO, Edith
Thank you Don !
God's Grace
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)